Tampa

[Heels1989]

Originally Posted by MaTH716

Wake up excited and fairly rested, unfortunately my behind continues to spew. Still have no appetite, but decide to get a cup of coffee. Go back to the room and spew some more. Finally at about 12:05, Bigs white pick-up rolls up and we're off to the track. Tampa's really the only thing running so expecting a fairly light day. We get to the track and start to cap, waiting for GPK and BT to show. Hit the first race and things couldn't be better. Bigs has us hooked up in his box. It's in the front row about 20 yards past the wire, just freakin awesome. Finally GPK and BT show up and my greatest fear is eased, I'm taller than GPK (It's really not close). I'm actually getting a little hungry now and I've heard so much about the famous Tampa Cuban sandwiches, so I decide to jump in. It's pretty good, but it had Salami on it. Since when do Cubans eat F'n salami? Regardless things are good and I'm feeling better. Until later when out of nowhere, I'm forced to check out the plumbing facilities at Tampa Bay Downs. Thankfully there were adequate. Come back just in time to get out on the last race. After a few 2 for 1's in the Grunder Bar, BT, GPK and myself go back to the hotel to check in.

GPK decides to give us an unplanned tour of the Tampa/St. Pete area on the way back to the hotel. It feels like we drive for an eternity, thankfully my colen cooperates during the journey. We check in, rest and then it's time I give the bathroom a workout for a while, then we decide to go to dinner. Honestly I'm not even hungry. But we go to some steakhouse grill type place, it was actually nice. GPK falls in love with the hostess. I guess she was ok, but the thing that really made his heart pump, was that she was shorter than him. Then he proceeds to order french fries as an appitizer. Who the f.uck has ever heard of something so stupid? French Fries, really? I'm not hungry so I give him a pass. The three of us are enjoying our meal, when out of nowhere some random 70 something year old woman stops at our table and starts to chat us up. She really looks like she just escaped from a mental hospital and just continues to blabber as me and BT just shake our head in amazement. I think GPK is digging her, but she's way to tall for him. Finally the rest of the golden girls at the bar corral their friend and she's out of our hair. It really was a comical scene. We thought about messing with them, but decided it was a play against.
We discuss if we should go out at that point, but it's late and we're golfing very early in the morning. We decide to call it a night, but not before having to take BT to get beer. He says he needs it to handicap .

Tears from laughing so hard. No expanded details on the events in Grunder Bar?

[MaTH716]

Originally Posted by Heels1989

Tears from laughing so hard. No expanded details on the events in Grunder Bar?

That's Thursday. Remember, we got locked in the track and it took us like 10 minutes to get out? I felt so bad for Bigs, that Ness juice that he took must have worn off, I really thought that we were going to have to put him down.

[MaTH716]

We are up at the crack of dawn to Golf. I'm exhausted as I worn out a path in the carpet running from my bed to the bathroom. It was a very long night. GPK bitches and moans that I kept him up with my snoring, but every time I went to the bathroom he was passed out. Thankfully we find the golf course fairly easily after a brief stop at Starbucks. I refrain from getting coffee, but that doesn't stop me from visiting the facillities at the golf course. I failed to mention that my streak of bathroom runs had come to an end at the steakhouse the night before. The patrons were very nice though, giving me a standing ovtion as I walked out of the restauraunt.
Golf was a good time, It was GPK, Herk and Bigs in the first group and Me, BT and Rude in the second. I know I suck at golf and I'm okay with it. I was actually impressed with BT, he hits the ball great in between eating cigarettes and drinking beer. Rude on the other hand is more my level. It was a great time and the sun never came out, making it feel very comfortable. Other than Rude hitting a couple of perpendicular shots (sorry Dan), the higlight for me was shooting a legit 46 (must have been a payback from God for making me piss out of my ass for the last 48 hours) on the back after flirting with 60 on the front. But it was a great time and even better we realize that after some rain late yesterday that they will be running on the turf at Tampa. We are on the way.

To be contined...................

[TheSpyder]

Great Scav's like story telling and this is going great.

Glad I didn't join you as together we would have tilted the Florida sewage system out of control.

Now, if you in-laws show up in the story I think we have some sort of award coming to you.

Keep it coming....

Spyder

[herkhorse]

any doubts of GPK actually being a golf pro were erased on day 1, as he hits only 3 bad shots all day and recovers from one of them to shoot a 2 over 74 with borrowed clubs Bigs and I are on the opposite end of the spectrum, but Bigs gets props for using a ball that is painted blue green and yellow.

[Fulla Sheets]

Originally Posted by herkhorse

any doubts of GPK actually being a golf pro were erased on day 1, as he hits only 3 bad shots all day and recovers from one of them to shoot a 2 over 74 with borrowed clubs Bigs and I are on the opposite end of the spectrum, but Bigs gets props for using a ball that is painted blue green and yellow.

Is the rumor true that Bigs has a GPS homing device wound into the golf ball? And carries a machete in his bag?

[MaTH716]

Originally Posted by Fulla Sheets

Is the rumor true that Bigs has a GPS homing device wound into the golf ball? And carries a machete in his bag?

Not true and if he did, forget about the machete both of us would have needed a Toro chainsaw and a canoe on Friday . But that's cause the midget nazi golf police made us play from the f.uckin blues. What a dick!

[Scav]

Originally Posted by MaTH716

Not true and if he did, forget about the machete both of us would have needed a Toro chainsaw and a canoe on Friday . But that's cause the midget nazi golf police made us play from the f.uckin blues. What a dick!

Basically. Its the only thing he can be a tough guy on

"Oh, I can hit this fade better then you" and "Oh I can stick this sand wedge a foot away cause I'm that good" type stuff

My guy Bigs puts a hurtin on the ball, and some local houses too.

[MaTH716]

It happens as soon as we reach the Track, we meet the immortal Exacta Bob. In an added bonus we meet Mrs. Exacta Bob too. They are really very nice people, but honestly the Mrs. didn't pick her head up out of her book the entire time we were there. I'm actually feeling fairly good and go for another of those fugazi Cuban sandwiches. Later I even feel well enough to get some ice cream, things are looking up. I'm under th gun here a bit trying to cap on the fly. For me personally the day is a bloodbath. I end up going 3/4 on like 3 pick fours between Tampa and Gulfstream. I don't cash a ticket all day.

The group for Thursday is Myself, Bigs, Rude, Herk, BT, GPK, Heels shows up and Exacta Bob. I find Herk to be absolutely amazing. I have never seen a guy who is constantly live to price horses before in my life. If Norm McDonald, the Dali Lama and Rain Man had a baby, it would be Herk. He's so mellow and doesn't get excited about anything. He punches the wrong ticket and it's like awww shucks. It was amazing to watch, not only was he live to prices, they all ran well. I'm not saying they all won, but it seemed like if he wasn't winning he was real close. The kicker was he seemed to look at each horse in the form for like 4 seconds before forming an opinion. It was the damdest thing. The guy just kept going to the window, I was very impressed.
Heels is no slouch either, he seemed to be live to everything too. I think he cashed a few nice tickets as well. Unfortunately his luck ended when BT saw what was going on and he tried to jump on the Heels train, I think BT derailed it. But it did seem like Heels had some pretty good opinions going on.

Everyone did their thing, some went to play cards, but we all had a ball. It really was an awesome day. Bigs and Rude were pointing out all the trainers sitting around us and trying to give us the lowdown on all the little Tampa angles. I'll never toss a Bernie Rhone horse ever again at Tampa. At one point Bigs and I saw Tom Proctor right after Guidry gave another stellar ride, he closed ay to late like a frieght train getting up for 2nd. You would think that Proctor would be pissed, but there he was yukking it up like he just won a graded stake. Him and his fat ass was sitting back in a chair and was rocking and shimmying in the chair and pumping his arm like he was changing gears in a low rider or maybe he was just having a seizure from Guidry's ride. But it was a sight to see and I had tears coming from my eyes. That happened a lot on this trip. It was just a group of great guys that are a lot of fun to be around, I had a ball. But the laughing was just starting. Live racing was over and we were heading back to the Grunder bar and the beginning of the show parlay.......................

to be continued.................