The Cleveland Sporty Page

[horseofcourse]

this week's prediction

Arizona 23
Cleveland 10


I would predict 10 points with colt Mccoy, Seneca Wallace or the trained gorilla playing qb. I would say no difference between the 3.

(well, that's not true...a helmet to helmet would not injure the gorilla...that is the only difference)

[clyde]

!!

[clyde]

Someone should check Mr. Rogers for a concussion.



I think we can score on Arizona ,so:

Arizona....32

Dawson....15

[horseofcourse]

found this on a physics forum....(don't ask!)

It has always been a mystery to me why so many Americans idolize professional athletes. Football and basketball players are especially idolized.
Why don't we just go further down the evolutionary ladder and have gorillas be our professional football players? I think that humans could train gorillas to play football in fairly decent adherence to the rules if the gorillas were trained to play those sports from birth. With all due respect to America's professional athletes (I would play professional football too if I were big enough, and someone would pay me millions of dollars per year to play it.), it's not rocket science.

The average male gorilla is six feet tall and weighs 450 lbs. Female gorillas are far smaller, averaging only about 200 pounds. Males would be much better football players.Gorillas are vegetarians, and, as a consequence, they have a very low body fat percentage. I suspect that the average male gorilla could bench press 1,000 pounds.
If we're going to watch football, why not watch the best possible football players: gorillas? Give a gorilla the football, and I think no five men could tackle him.


I have researched this topic on the internet. All the sources that I saw are in agreement that the average gorilla can bench press 4,000 pounds! The strongest men on the face of the earth cannot bench press 1,000 pounds!
Why don't we just go further down the evolutionary ladder and have gorillas be our professional football players, and why not idolize gorillas as our best athletes, not humans? If I were going to idolize someone for their strength and speed, I would rather idolize the far more deserving gorilla than a human.

[horseofcourse]

In the end, people smarter than us have been doing some thinking about it!

[horseofcourse]

...and then the real physicists took over...


Mr. Stickythighs, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent post was there anything that could even be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this forum is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.


(darn...for a second I had visions of ape football on the north coast!)

[horseofcourse]

This directly reminds me of a philosophical argument from Robert Nozick about fairness

(sporty threads on physics boards are quite fun!)

[clyde]

Originally Posted by horseofcourse

found this on a physics forum....(don't ask!)

It has always been a mystery to me why so many Americans idolize professional athletes. Football and basketball players are especially idolized.
Why don't we just go further down the evolutionary ladder and have gorillas be our professional football players? I think that humans could train gorillas to play football in fairly decent adherence to the rules if the gorillas were trained to play those sports from birth. With all due respect to America's professional athletes (I would play professional football too if I were big enough, and someone would pay me millions of dollars per year to play it.), it's not rocket science.

The average male gorilla is six feet tall and weighs 450 lbs. Female gorillas are far smaller, averaging only about 200 pounds. Males would be much better football players.Gorillas are vegetarians, and, as a consequence, they have a very low body fat percentage. I suspect that the average male gorilla could bench press 1,000 pounds.
If we're going to watch football, why not watch the best possible football players: gorillas? Give a gorilla the football, and I think no five men could tackle him.


I have researched this topic on the internet. All the sources that I saw are in agreement that the average gorilla can bench press 4,000 pounds! The strongest men on the face of the earth cannot bench press 1,000 pounds!
Why don't we just go further down the evolutionary ladder and have gorillas be our professional football players, and why not idolize gorillas as our best athletes, not humans? If I were going to idolize someone for their strength and speed, I would rather idolize the far more deserving gorilla than a human.

Oh my God.