Anybody hear any good jokes lately?

[Player_Player]

[Player_Player]

The Blonde Phone Call !


"Hi Mom, How are you?"

"Hi Sally, where are you? I thought you were with your father at the Ace Hardware"

"Yeah we were, but I got arrested, and they've let me make one phone call"

"What happened?"

"Oh, I punched this African-American woman in the head."

"What on earth, why did you do that?"

"Well it wasn't my fault. Dad told me to find a Black & Decker."

[Player_Player]

.

Q: Why is a blonde like a stamp?
A: Both get licked, then stuck, and finally sent on their way.


Q: Why do saunas remind some people of blondes?
A: Cuz both are steamy and wet on entry, and hey, they don't mind if you bring friends.


Q: What's the difference between a Mosquito and a blonde?
A: On slapping a Mosquito, it will stop sucking.


Q: How would a blond interpret 6.9?
A: A 69 interrupted by a period.


Q: What's a blondes favorite Nursery Rhyme?
A: HumpMe DumpMe.


Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Cuz everyone gets a turn.


Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?
A: He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead.


Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common?
A: They've both swallowed a lot of seamen.


Q: Why don't blondes talk when having sex?
A: Their Mommies told em never to speak to strangers.


Q: What do a 250cc Scooter and a blonde have in common?
A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.


Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.


Q: Have you heard about the blonde virgin?
A: She hangs out with the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus


Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.

[Player_Player]

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating.. You've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand, and whispered,

"Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Let's pick up Peter and Willy from school and go get dinner.

[Player_Player]

$7.00 Sex




An Arizona couple, both well into their 80's, go to a sex therapist's office.
The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'
The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?'
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.

When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse..'

He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says good bye.

The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.

This happens several weeks in a row


The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.

Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?'

The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything.

She's married; so we can't go to her house.

I'm married; and we can't go to my house.

The Holiday Inn charges $98.

The Hilton charges $139.

We do it here for $50, and Medicare pays $43 of it, leaving my net cost of $7.00


SHAME ON YOU FOR LAUGHING AT THAT...

[Player_Player]

I'm sure that you have seen pharmaceutical advertising in doctor's offices on everything from tissues to note pads This one should get First prize....




I e-mailed it to my Chinese doctor friend; he e-mailed back:
"If light stay on more than 4 hour, call erectrician.

[herkhorse]

http://www.derbytrail.com/forums/showthread.php?t=43126