What is the deal with jocks beating their spouses?

[my miss storm cat]

Originally Posted by Danzig

well, in that case doreen, i guess she had it coming.

like i said above, too bad for the kids.

I debated even saying anything here cause I was afraid I'd overtalk if that's a word but I want to just point out that that's not what Doreen was saying. Not in a mean or bitchy way... it's just I know exactly what she meant.

I'm 5'1", my ex was 6'2" so when he hit me (occassionally) and beat me (twice and this is so not a pity party. Honestly I should send him a thank you note for leaving me years ago although at the time it was really really hard)... being educated and having 2 small children, etc., I did exactly what a lot of women do.

Nothing.

I didn't tell anyone.

Looking back I have no idea why this was my mindset but at the time? Maybe it's embarrassment or you feel in some sick way you deserve it... you're afraid if someone finds out he'll get you back, it'll make things worse... I mean I honestly don't understand myself but that was my reality. Keep my mouth shut.

The second time he really beat me where it was pretty bad I was driving and went to the ER cause I felt like I was going to pass out. I didn't kow what else to do... my kids were little and in the car and I didn't want to call anyone.

I didn't know that if you tell a doctor by law they have to tell the cops.

So that's what happened and it was long and drawn out, he went to court, restraining order, etc and on and on.

Honestly, looking back and being totally honest there were times I probably - not had it coming but made it even worse.

He'd say that's how mad I made him... basically his actions were my fault (idiot) and while this is complete bullshit I'm sure there were times I made it worse, added to it, got disgusted and acte like a complete bitch, made him even more mad...

To be fair, I think this is what Doreen means.

Of course his wife doesn't deserve this - none of us do - but she's probably not Mother Teresa and neither am I and we'e not all meek little flowers who can't imagine why these monsters are doing this to us when were 100 percent innocent.

Maybe she's a difficult person or a complete bitch or whatever... Doreen was just throwing that into the equation and I really do see her point.

It doesn't mean she had it coming.

[Scav]

Originally Posted by somerfrost

Obviously, this is a cultural thing...domestic violence seems counter-intuitive to me, folks supposedly come together out of love...if you really love someone, hurting them should be the last thing you'd ever do. This, "I love you but if you do something that angers me, I gotta hurt (or worse) you" just is something I've never been able to comprehend.

Originally Posted by Princess Doreen

Not that it's any excuse, but I hear tell that Mrs. Albarado is no day at the beach, and trouble has been ongoing in that household for a long time. I'm willing to bet she got her licks in, as well, in that scuffle.

Simple resolution. D*I*V*O*R*C*E But, maybe it's one of those love/hate sitcheashuns.

You two would make a great couple. You guys are beyond priceless

[Princess Doreen]

Originally Posted by Scav

You two would make a great couple. You guys are beyond priceless

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0x-fkSYDtUY

[Sightseek]

Originally Posted by my miss storm cat

I debated even saying anything here cause I was afraid I'd overtalk if that's a word but I want to just point out that that's not what Doreen was saying. Not in a mean or bitchy way... it's just I know exactly what she meant.

I'm 5'1", my ex was 6'2" so when he hit me (occassionally) and beat me (twice and this is so not a pity party. Honestly I should send him a thank you note for leaving me years ago although at the time it was really really hard)... being educated and having 2 small children, etc., I did exactly what a lot of women do.

Nothing.

I didn't tell anyone.

Looking back I have no idea why this was my mindset but at the time? Maybe it's embarrassment or you feel in some sick way you deserve it... you're afraid if someone finds out he'll get you back, it'll make things worse... I mean I honestly don't understand myself but that was my reality. Keep my mouth shut.

The second time he really beat me where it was pretty bad I was driving and went to the ER cause I felt like I was going to pass out. I didn't kow what else to do... my kids were little and in the car and I didn't want to call anyone.

I didn't know that if you tell a doctor by law they have to tell the cops.

So that's what happened and it was long and drawn out, he went to court, restraining order, etc and on and on.

Honestly, looking back and being totally honest there were times I probably - not had it coming but made it even worse.

He'd say that's how mad I made him... basically his actions were my fault (idiot) and while this is complete bullshit I'm sure there were times I made it worse, added to it, got disgusted and acte like a complete bitch, made him even more mad...

To be fair, I think this is what Doreen means.

Of course his wife doesn't deserve this - none of us do - but she's probably not Mother Teresa and neither am I and we'e not all meek little flowers who can't imagine why these monsters are doing this to us when were 100 percent innocent.

Maybe she's a difficult person or a complete bitch or whatever... Doreen was just throwing that into the equation and I really do see her point.

It doesn't mean she had it coming.

I'm really sorry you had to go through this.

[Danzig]

Originally Posted by my miss storm cat

I debated even saying anything here cause I was afraid I'd overtalk if that's a word but I want to just point out that that's not what Doreen was saying. Not in a mean or bitchy way... it's just I know exactly what she meant.

I'm 5'1", my ex was 6'2" so when he hit me (occassionally) and beat me (twice and this is so not a pity party. Honestly I should send him a thank you note for leaving me years ago although at the time it was really really hard)... being educated and having 2 small children, etc., I did exactly what a lot of women do.

Nothing.

I didn't tell anyone.

Looking back I have no idea why this was my mindset but at the time? Maybe it's embarrassment or you feel in some sick way you deserve it... you're afraid if someone finds out he'll get you back, it'll make things worse... I mean I honestly don't understand myself but that was my reality. Keep my mouth shut.

The second time he really beat me where it was pretty bad I was driving and went to the ER cause I felt like I was going to pass out. I didn't kow what else to do... my kids were little and in the car and I didn't want to call anyone.

I didn't know that if you tell a doctor by law they have to tell the cops.

So that's what happened and it was long and drawn out, he went to court, restraining order, etc and on and on.

Honestly, looking back and being totally honest there were times I probably - not had it coming but made it even worse.

He'd say that's how mad I made him... basically his actions were my fault (idiot) and while this is complete bullshit I'm sure there were times I made it worse, added to it, got disgusted and acte like a complete bitch, made him even more mad...

To be fair, I think this is what Doreen means.

Of course his wife doesn't deserve this - none of us do - but she's probably not Mother Teresa and neither am I and we'e not all meek little flowers who can't imagine why these monsters are doing this to us when were 100 percent innocent.

Maybe she's a difficult person or a complete bitch or whatever... Doreen was just throwing that into the equation and I really do see her point.

It doesn't mean she had it coming.

i echo sightseek in saying that's a rough thing to go thru. i know there are relationships that many would find 'odd'...but i can't ever imagine anyone 'deserving' a beating from their own spouse, or anyone for that matter. but perhaps beaters are pretty good at finding someone who fits their mold? i don't know.
at any rate, there's no excuse for it. robby's wife shouldn't be in that position, he shouldn't put her there-or be strangling his wife, and kids there to see it. sick, sick, sick. i don't care how big of a bitch she might be, if it's that bad, leave. staying will do many things, making it better not being one of them.