Anybody hear any good jokes lately?

[philcski]

another irish joke from the italian guy




An Irish Daughter had not been home for over five years. Upon her return, her father yelled at her, "Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum through? Why didn't ye call?"


The girl, crying, replied, "Dad, I ... I became a prostitute."



"Ye what??!! " screamed her father. "Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family!"



O, Dad, can ye not forgive me?" pleaded the girl through her tears. "If ye want me to leave, Il do as ye wish." She wiped her eyes and opened the suitcase she had brought with her. "I just came back to give Mum this mink coat, the title deed to a ten-bedroom mansion, and a savings certificate for $5 million. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye, Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a membership in the country
club..."



She blew her nose and took a breath. ".....and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board me new yacht in the Riviera, and...."

"What was it ye said ye had become?" asked her Dad.



The girl burst into tears again. "A.... a prostitute, Dad."

"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said "a Protestant"....... Come here and give yer old dad a hug!"