copypasta

/b/, You have a huge crush on this girl. She's cute, hot, funny, smart, playful, fun, etc. Bad news though: you're in the friend zone. Hardcore. You guys hang out a lot, you may even cuddle when you watch movies, but that's it. You want more and she sees you as totally asexual. Everyone on /b/ has been where I'm describing.

Well, /b/, I've finally come up with a solution: drugs. Let me explain.

Put 5 milligrams of oxycodone in her food/drink/etc. It's not enough to get her high, but she'll still be in an amazing mood and won't know why. She'll have a continuous warm fuzzy feeling in her stomach the entire time you're hanging out. Do this every time you hang out with her. After 3 dates, she'll be convinced that she has fallen in love with you. After she comes forward with it, stop dosing her and the placebo effect will do the rest.

Enjoy your dream-come-true, /b/.