Aussie Humour

[2 Dollar Bill]

Originally Posted by hi_im_god

son: mama, i have the biggest feet in the 3rd grade. is it because i'm australian?

mom: no. it's because you're 19.


did you hear about the earthquake that hit alice springs and inflicted $11 million in improvements?


what's the difference between a coyote and a dingo?

if a dingo gets caught in a trap, he chews off 3 legs and is still in the trap.



the difference between texans and australians is that texans may raise cattle but australians get emotionally involved.

if you think any of that was funny, you might be scuds.

Is the first one a recycled West Virginia joke ?

[hi_im_god]

except for the dingo, they're all recycled.

the first one could be an iowan joke in minnesota if you want.

[magic_idol]

While we were pointing fingers i thought it would be a great time to involve the English

A miner in Africa has an accident and loses a leg. He says to his mate "I'm
f---ed, who will want a one legged gold digger?" His mate says "try Paul
McCartney"

[2 Dollar Bill]

Originally Posted by magic_idol

While we were pointing fingers i thought it would be a great time to involve the English

A miner in Africa has an accident and loses a leg. He says to his mate "I'm
f---ed, who will want a one legged gold digger?" His mate says "try Paul
McCartney"

Good One......Still laughin !

[Mortimer]

Ya just cain't bah stuff lak 'is.

[magic_idol]

>>> The Bacon Tree
>>> Two Mexicans are lost in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to
>>> death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable,
>>> when all of a sudden.......
>>> 'Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon I is sure of eet.'
>>> 'Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee.'
>>> So, with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand dune, and
>>> there,
>>> in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
>>> There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back
>>> bacon,
>>> double smoked bacon... every imaginable kind of cured pig meat.
>>> 'Pepe, Pepe, we is saved. 'Eees a bacon tree.'
>>> 'Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the Desert don't
>>> forget.'
>>> 'Pepe when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon... ees
>>> no
>>> meerage, ees a bacon tree'.
>>> And with that... Luis Races towards the tree. He gets to within 5
>>> metres,
>>> Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens
>>> up,and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally
>>> wounded
>>> but, a true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying
>>> breath.
>>> 'Pepe... go back man,you was right , ees not a bacon tree.'
>>> 'Luis Luis mi amigo... what ees it?
>>> 'Pepe... ees not a bacon tree...
>>> Ees
>>> Ees
>>> Ees
>>> Ees
>>> Ees
>>> Ees
>>> Ees
>>> Eees a Ham Bush

[hi_im_god]

Originally Posted by magic_idol

>>> The Bacon Tree
>>> Two Mexicans are lost in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to
>>> death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable,
>>> when all of a sudden.......
>>> 'Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon I is sure of eet.'
>>> 'Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee.'
>>> So, with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand dune, and
>>> there,
>>> in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
>>> There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back
>>> bacon,
>>> double smoked bacon... every imaginable kind of cured pig meat.
>>> 'Pepe, Pepe, we is saved. 'Eees a bacon tree.'
>>> 'Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the Desert don't
>>> forget.'
>>> 'Pepe when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon... ees
>>> no
>>> meerage, ees a bacon tree'.
>>> And with that... Luis Races towards the tree. He gets to within 5
>>> metres,
>>> Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens
>>> up,and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally
>>> wounded
>>> but, a true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying
>>> breath.
>>> 'Pepe... go back man,you was right , ees not a bacon tree.'
>>> 'Luis Luis mi amigo... what ees it?
>>> 'Pepe... ees not a bacon tree...
>>> Ees
>>> Ees
>>> Ees
>>> Ees
>>> Ees
>>> Ees
>>> Ees
>>> Eees a Ham Bush

i don't get it.