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#1
02-15-2007, 04:55 PM
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I'm reminded of some old SNL bit's by Phil Hartman, The Anal Rententive Chef or The Anal Rententive Carpenter.
In that vein, what about the Anal Rententive Handicapper? First gather the following items; one racing form one blue pen one green pen two red pens one felt marker two yellow highlighters five pieces off-white sturdy construction paper one standard ruler one pair of scissors one roll scotch tape one magnifying lens one bottle Elmers glue one large cup coffee three extra strength tylenol Okay, now we're ready to begin. Oops!, we've dripped coffee on the construction paper, we'll have to throw that one out and start over... Is that a torn page in the form, where's our tape? and on and on. 
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#2
02-15-2007, 05:07 PM
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I'm a superstitious guy and noticed that I had luck at the OTB last time because I am an exceptionally gifted artist and made this picture and put it in my wallet. I've been hitting winners left and right ever since.
I'll gladly make a personalized one for anyone who is willing to cough up $300. 
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#3
02-16-2007, 10:18 AM
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Quote:
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#4
02-15-2007, 06:50 PM
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Pillow Pants makes me hurt
 I absolutely loved that post. My sides are hurting. I'm really not that good a handicapper. My problem is I win for all the wrong reasons and then wonder why I'm not. Ofcourse I still think I am just unlucky cause I got 1st, 3rd and 4th or the top 3 in the wrong order regardless of odds.
__________________
ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
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#5
02-15-2007, 05:08 PM
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Yo, speaking for myself only -
WTF was that BBB? This ain't breaking down the nuclear reactor brother, it's cappin a horse race. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Construction paper, etc, 741 different colored markers etc.. Shiat do you roll to the track in a box van and use a dolley to take everything in that you find necessary to cap a card? Only bustin your ballsack man.
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