"It's Groundhog Day.. again.."

[GenuineRisk]

Originally Posted by timmgirvan

GR: I can't imagine living in a relationship where there is a implied threat of violence(well I did have that with the old man). Anyone who puts up with that..I feel for.

Well, Timm, of course in an average healthy relationship it's never going to go there. My husband and I have had some very angry fights but I know he'd sooner chop off his own hand than hit me. But then he'd never call me a c*nt, either. (I did hear him call me a "f*cking baby" once, but then when I yelled, "WHAT did you just call me?" he retorted, "You weren't supposed to hear that!" and then I started laughing and the fight was over. I sometimes HATE that he's so darn funny. Ruins perfectly good fights.) But looking at the root causes of why "n*****" is hateful in a way that "honky" isn't, and how "c*nt" is hateful in a way that "prick" just isn't, I think it comes back to who is saying it and who has the power.

And while there's I imagine, no power on earth that would make you strike a woman, the physical fact remains if you did, you could hit her harder than she could hit you. You have the upper hand, and you were given that by physiology. In a way, the stronger person always has the upper hand in a fight, and it's testament to our progress and growth as a society that the stronger one will opt to not ever play that card and choose to negotiate through a fight differently. Because now, most of us see it as more "manly" to keep one's fists in one's pockets. And I think not saying words that say that one is bad simply because one is female or black is another way of keeping those fists in their pockets. It's saying, I'm going to have to criticize you based on what you do, or WHO you are, not what you are. If I'm called a bitch, it's because I'm being a jerk, not because I'm a female canine.