What is the deal with jocks beating their spouses?

[my miss storm cat]

Originally Posted by Danzig

well, in that case doreen, i guess she had it coming.

like i said above, too bad for the kids.

I debated even saying anything here cause I was afraid I'd overtalk if that's a word but I want to just point out that that's not what Doreen was saying. Not in a mean or bitchy way... it's just I know exactly what she meant.

I'm 5'1", my ex was 6'2" so when he hit me (occassionally) and beat me (twice and this is so not a pity party. Honestly I should send him a thank you note for leaving me years ago although at the time it was really really hard)... being educated and having 2 small children, etc., I did exactly what a lot of women do.

Nothing.

I didn't tell anyone.

Looking back I have no idea why this was my mindset but at the time? Maybe it's embarrassment or you feel in some sick way you deserve it... you're afraid if someone finds out he'll get you back, it'll make things worse... I mean I honestly don't understand myself but that was my reality. Keep my mouth shut.

The second time he really beat me where it was pretty bad I was driving and went to the ER cause I felt like I was going to pass out. I didn't kow what else to do... my kids were little and in the car and I didn't want to call anyone.

I didn't know that if you tell a doctor by law they have to tell the cops.

So that's what happened and it was long and drawn out, he went to court, restraining order, etc and on and on.

Honestly, looking back and being totally honest there were times I probably - not had it coming but made it even worse.

He'd say that's how mad I made him... basically his actions were my fault (idiot) and while this is complete bullshit I'm sure there were times I made it worse, added to it, got disgusted and acte like a complete bitch, made him even more mad...

To be fair, I think this is what Doreen means.

Of course his wife doesn't deserve this - none of us do - but she's probably not Mother Teresa and neither am I and we'e not all meek little flowers who can't imagine why these monsters are doing this to us when were 100 percent innocent.

Maybe she's a difficult person or a complete bitch or whatever... Doreen was just throwing that into the equation and I really do see her point.

It doesn't mean she had it coming.