Manti Te'o dead girlfriend story a hoax? - Page 5

satan's twin · #81 01-18-2013, 07:25 PM

This story is so deliciously creepy.....

....kinda reminds me of the situation several years back that rocked DT during its' golden era when half the people posting on this board were eligible to receive their medical care, and yearly vaccinations, from a veterinarian. Two posting personalities central to that 'scandal' were the Saratoga gadfly Mikey one-suit, aka Oracle, and the alleged wealthy, campus hotty from Duke University, the radiant and voluptuous Baletto.

Everything about Baletto screamed Taliban. She would post pictures of her perfect life, of her jet-setting across the country to parties and get-togethers or of her appearances in the winner's circle at Gulfstream where one of daddy's horses just won another one, or, of her mammouth cans spilling out of her dental-floss bathing suit at some swanky party JUST as she had stepped out of the pool and that naughty photogragher caught her in an almost compromising position. Baletto's photos?-----Brent Mussburger would have kicked Katherine Webb to the curb just to pound one out over those pics. Yet curiously, this bombshell had hours every day to banter back and forth with the cartoon nerds on this site who hadn't had that much excitement in their lives since Pluto was downgraded from "planet" to "cold orbiting dirt". Her sway over this assemblage was never fully grasped until the great gathering of the DT masses at Saratoga during the summer of '06 whence I first heard of the personal email exchanges between this vixen and all my new DT "friends". Aghast, violated, soiled, I adjourned to the nearest bathroom behind the chowder soup stand for an extended whore bath in the sink where my abuse continued listening to the deafening sounds of Motown emanating from the bathroom attendant's third-world briefcase.

Following the great tribal revival at the Spa that year it was widely reported from reliable sources that shortly thereafter, Oracle had attempted his own electronic dalliance with this coosome cupcake. Wide of mouth and large of ass, he alone knew that no rich beautiful tart could withstand the charms of a dashing wordsmith as he, albeit one snuggly ensconsed in an unfortunately stained, white 5X t-shirt, stylish draped to just below the knees. And if this little wench couldn't be swayed simply by raptuous, poetic verse, then certainly she would succumb to a bohemian-style photo.............of his junk.

This not-so-innocent correspondence led to two startling discoveries. The first was that the aforementioned Baletto possessed neither a strong stomach, nor apparently, a....a....a....a vagina. The second equally amazing discovery was that somehow the over-amply layered Oracle was just dexterous enough to wade through gelatinous mounds of gristle to find that gnarly little prawn of his wedged just south of his short and curlies, and then was skilled enough to hold that position long enough to snap a few shots of his dummy. In the coming weeks, both DT legends were banished to a Soviet gulag for life by Premier Byk where they, presumably, would have plenty of time to consider their high crimes against the internet.

This brings me back to the completely gullible (or completely culpable) Manti Te'o. With a fall from grace like this, we won't have that apostrophe in his name to kick around for long. This poor dopey bastard needs something to shake him up and get him back on track. If the electricity has been turned back on at the mission Oracle was staying at, perhaps he could email him that picture of his junk. That ought to do the trick.

hoovesupsideyourhead · #82 01-19-2013, 09:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by satan's twin

This story is so deliciously creepy.....

....kinda reminds me of the situation several years back that rocked DT during its' golden era when half the people posting on this board were eligible to receive their medical care, and yearly vaccinations, from a veterinarian. Two posting personalities central to that 'scandal' were the Saratoga gadfly Mikey one-suit, aka Oracle, and the alleged wealthy, campus hotty from Duke University, the radiant and voluptuous Baletto.

Everything about Baletto screamed Taliban. She would post pictures of her perfect life, of her jet-setting across the country to parties and get-togethers or of her appearances in the winner's circle at Gulfstream where one of daddy's horses just won another one, or, of her mammouth cans spilling out of her dental-floss bathing suit at some swanky party JUST as she had stepped out of the pool and that naughty photogragher caught her in an almost compromising position. Baletto's photos?-----Brent Mussburger would have kicked Katherine Webb to the curb just to pound one out over those pics. Yet curiously, this bombshell had hours every day to banter back and forth with the cartoon nerds on this site who hadn't had that much excitement in their lives since Pluto was downgraded from "planet" to "cold orbiting dirt". Her sway over this assemblage was never fully grasped until the great gathering of the DT masses at Saratoga during the summer of '06 whence I first heard of the personal email exchanges between this vixen and all my new DT "friends". Aghast, violated, soiled, I adjourned to the nearest bathroom behind the chowder soup stand for an extended whore bath in the sink where my abuse continued listening to the deafening sounds of Motown emanating from the bathroom attendant's third-world briefcase.

Following the great tribal revival at the Spa that year it was widely reported from reliable sources that shortly thereafter, Oracle had attempted his own electronic dalliance with this coosome cupcake. Wide of mouth and large of ass, he alone knew that no rich beautiful tart could withstand the charms of a dashing wordsmith as he, albeit one snuggly ensconsed in an unfortunately stained, white 5X t-shirt, stylish draped to just below the knees. And if this little wench couldn't be swayed simply by raptuous, poetic verse, then certainly she would succumb to a bohemian-style photo.............of his junk.

This not-so-innocent correspondence led to two startling discoveries. The first was that the aforementioned Baletto possessed neither a strong stomach, nor apparently, a....a....a....a vagina. The second equally amazing discovery was that somehow the over-amply layered Oracle was just dexterous enough to wade through gelatinous mounds of gristle to find that gnarly little prawn of his wedged just south of his short and curlies, and then was skilled enough to hold that position long enough to snap a few shots of his dummy. In the coming weeks, both DT legends were banished to a Soviet gulag for life by Premier Byk where they, presumably, would have plenty of time to consider their high crimes against the internet.

This brings me back to the completely gullible (or completely culpable) Manti Te'o. With a fall from grace like this, we won't have that apostrophe in his name to kick around for long. This poor dopey bastard needs something to shake him up and get him back on track. If the electricity has been turned back on at the mission Oracle was staying at, perhaps he could email him that picture of his junk. That ought to do the trick.

Danzig · #83 01-19-2013, 09:18 AM

i had forgotten all about balletto and oracle. fine work.

dagolfer33 · #84 01-19-2013, 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by satan's twin

This story is so deliciously creepy.....

....kinda reminds me of the situation several years back that rocked DT during its' golden era when half the people posting on this board were eligible to receive their medical care, and yearly vaccinations, from a veterinarian. Two posting personalities central to that 'scandal' were the Saratoga gadfly Mikey one-suit, aka Oracle, and the alleged wealthy, campus hotty from Duke University, the radiant and voluptuous Baletto.

Everything about Baletto screamed Taliban. She would post pictures of her perfect life, of her jet-setting across the country to parties and get-togethers or of her appearances in the winner's circle at Gulfstream where one of daddy's horses just won another one, or, of her mammouth cans spilling out of her dental-floss bathing suit at some swanky party JUST as she had stepped out of the pool and that naughty photogragher caught her in an almost compromising position. Baletto's photos?-----Brent Mussburger would have kicked Katherine Webb to the curb just to pound one out over those pics. Yet curiously, this bombshell had hours every day to banter back and forth with the cartoon nerds on this site who hadn't had that much excitement in their lives since Pluto was downgraded from "planet" to "cold orbiting dirt". Her sway over this assemblage was never fully grasped until the great gathering of the DT masses at Saratoga during the summer of '06 whence I first heard of the personal email exchanges between this vixen and all my new DT "friends". Aghast, violated, soiled, I adjourned to the nearest bathroom behind the chowder soup stand for an extended whore bath in the sink where my abuse continued listening to the deafening sounds of Motown emanating from the bathroom attendant's third-world briefcase.

Following the great tribal revival at the Spa that year it was widely reported from reliable sources that shortly thereafter, Oracle had attempted his own electronic dalliance with this coosome cupcake. Wide of mouth and large of ass, he alone knew that no rich beautiful tart could withstand the charms of a dashing wordsmith as he, albeit one snuggly ensconsed in an unfortunately stained, white 5X t-shirt, stylish draped to just below the knees. And if this little wench couldn't be swayed simply by raptuous, poetic verse, then certainly she would succumb to a bohemian-style photo.............of his junk.

This not-so-innocent correspondence led to two startling discoveries. The first was that the aforementioned Baletto possessed neither a strong stomach, nor apparently, a....a....a....a vagina. The second equally amazing discovery was that somehow the over-amply layered Oracle was just dexterous enough to wade through gelatinous mounds of gristle to find that gnarly little prawn of his wedged just south of his short and curlies, and then was skilled enough to hold that position long enough to snap a few shots of his dummy. In the coming weeks, both DT legends were banished to a Soviet gulag for life by Premier Byk where they, presumably, would have plenty of time to consider their high crimes against the internet.

This brings me back to the completely gullible (or completely culpable) Manti Te'o. With a fall from grace like this, we won't have that apostrophe in his name to kick around for long. This poor dopey bastard needs something to shake him up and get him back on track. If the electricity has been turned back on at the mission Oracle was staying at, perhaps he could email him that picture of his junk. That ought to do the trick.

I know it's early in the year, but post of the year so far.