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  #2341  
Old 02-12-2015, 06:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pants II View Post
Nincompoops are dropping like homeless yankee boxers in Russia.

RIP

blech.

I didn't make a fuss when taco smell removed the xxxl nachos from the menu. No RIP thread from me going on about how great the xxxl nachos was.
================================================== ====


From ~ Clyde



Oh my God.

That was beautiful.



I award you the rare 20 pie medal,with bracketing 7 exclamation mark cluster:



!!!!!!!OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Last edited by Arletta : 02-12-2015 at 07:01 PM.
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  #2342  
Old 02-18-2015, 03:46 PM
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From Clyde


================================================== =======

CLYDE&CLYDE brings serious,and provocative opinion to the Sporty Bore and Nill Room.

Mainly, because no on else will.

That humble opening being what it be....Scott J Hater could prove interesting,even though it's a little soon.



The Brownies: Can they produce yet another first round qb pick equal to Brady Quinn,Brandon Weeden or even Johnny Rotten? I think they can.

The real scary part is when a team worries about being able to resign a Brian Hoyer.

It makes me wonder how Joe Thomas can mange a huddle and be successful on boot legs and roll outs.

I even think,with a modicum of instruction, that Phil Taylor could be a decent qb for this team.



Although a notch below a mild fan,I like the success the Cavaliers have enjoyed.Mainly because Coach Dahla Auerbach's statement earlier this year( "Maybe they should go small?") now sounds insane.

But to me, it sounded insane earlier this year.

The Alibi is closing in on a record for forcing turnovers.Too bad they're his.

That's why I call him The Alibi.

BUT! Weather forecasters say he's now a leader and has a brilliant basketball mind.That's the one advantage of Twitter.It allows people like The Queen to prove Weather Forecasters are'unt that smart.



The Tribe still looks for someone to play right field whose name is not the same as their current right fielders.One would not think it would be that hard.

With all this, Ohio State fb seems a llllllllllllllllllllllllllong way off.

Bourban may blow a tire before it starts.


Kirk Herbstreit still reports that Les Miles will be the new head coach at Michigan for 2015.He doesn't think Harbaugh is really interested in that job.Still,LSU fans are excited about possibly getting Nick Saban back.Saban has created a stir by answering a question about what he thinks of Alabama's OC.He responded with,"What O.C? We have one??"


Another subject known to me: People betting on the coming MLB season as far as teams o/u wins are concerned.

I don't think they'd be successful betting last years o/u.

Baseball bettors should be considered for a dross harvest.



Let's admit it.....sports blow.

Big time.

We need a God thread here.




SENORITAS AND SENORS!!....LET US SKEE-DADDLE!!
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  #2343  
Old 02-21-2015, 05:00 PM
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A message from Clyde:

======================================

Oh no.


The teams aligned with Aprilweather and PackyMan as well as they themselves,are pleased as punch to bring YOU,the boxing fan,what you want.The Super Fight.Oh it may almost be 6 years late when YOU,the boxing fan, really wanted it....you get it anyway.Both being at the peak of their retirement years,the 38 and 36 year old are ready to show their considerable diminishing skills and all so YOU,the boxing fan, finally gets this fight.

If YOU,the boxing fan,really buy all this ....one guy gets maybe 120 million or so and the other around 90 million.

Can you believe the extreme...NO!----the unHEARD of generosity brought by these two camps just so YOU,the boxing fan,can have your pig in a poke.It's enough to make one cry.The humanity;the grace;the philanthropy....these people are more wonderful than Ned and Hydra.



For me,I'll be touring local 24 hour motorcycle show rooms on May 2.

Or maybe trying to finish the dwarf book:Crime and Punishment.

Then again,I may be Walking With the Elephants.



All of which I find supremely more exciting than the aforementioned farce.No one should be upset over my fine work because you could never get this kind of in depth opinion over at NoAdvantage.Unless you really believe in Arnold Thaskalos Rothstein.Everyone is selling magic beans over there.








doo dah!!
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  #2344  
Old 02-26-2015, 08:57 AM
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New Logo!

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  #2345  
Old 03-01-2015, 05:17 PM
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A response from Morty:

================================================== =============



Oh my God.


There is nothing dumber than an NFL fan embarrassing noble wuffies with their insane worship.



Haslam sound like an Arab name.

Watch the camel soon replace the wuffie.
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  #2346  
Old 03-08-2015, 08:07 PM
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From MDF


===============================================


Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy will now host the fine CLYDE&CLYDE program.



Cavalier news: The team won't even sniff the Big Hamburger until The Turnover decides to stop;as well as deciding to try and shoot 60% from the foul line each and every game.He has reintroduced the "Watch me dribble and stop and look around and then shoot a clanger." fascinating play call.Plus....well ya know, Blatt is like having a coach on the bench.So valuable.Irving can be fun when he decides what position to play that particular night.Love is being used more like he is Mike rather than Kevin.

Brownie ...."news"----?: The team allayed its fears of losing their starting qb by signing one who looks to be a lot older than Hoyer.At the very least,he's not as good.This makes sense to the "thinkers" of the team. Play calls will be sent in by Haslam via a secure frequency.The smoke signals ploy has been dumped.Johnny Rotten is holed up in the drunk tank, but does send out selfies with his visitors such as Josh Gordon and Joe Namath.Namath is heard telling Rotten that he wants to kiss him.

Tribe news:The Indians never think they need to do much with the team in the off season.This is not a real big secret.

Not much to say,is it?




There you have it;all the latest doings on the Cleveland sporty front.But it beats reading the Tampa Bay Meet up thread.At least the Vegas Vet threads were awful.
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  #2347  
Old 03-30-2015, 03:27 PM
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From Morty

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~`

Finally,some Cleveland Sporty News.


A Farmer has been suspended 4 months for texting.

Actually, that's probably going to help the crop.

Just thayin'.


The NBA'S biggest Narcissist( and that means HUGE!....for it is a sea of Narcissists) be sayin' the Cavaliers rather uninspiring past two games were uninspiring because ,"We just chillin'."

I can buy that.

I wonder if the Alibi can buy Love's favoring another player other than The Chiller for league MVP.This could be the reason for "We just chillin'." I sense friction.I also sense Love will become Boozer II.


March Sadness is almost over.

This means The MultiMillionaires of Summer are going to be starting.

A good thing ushers in a bad thing.162 games to decide who gets in the play offs.I like Ortiz' statement of indignation.He's being disrespected.It all makes me wish for a giant Roach Motel be built for pro sporty players.Lure them with HO's and special Cracker Jack prizes for the stunningly rich.

The Indians look pretty much the same as last year.This is by design, for ownership doesn't like being confused;which they easily are.I'll wait until the last 20 games to see if there is any reason to get excited.

Who is going to pay $100 or so to see Aprilweather and Hackman?This could be the world's shortest and worst reality show without the reality.I wouldn't even pay 4 dollah to see the script.... for long time.



"Millions for defense but not one penny for tribute"





Sporty Fans!----AVANTE!!
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  #2348  
Old 04-12-2015, 09:18 AM
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From Morty



=========================================

Another edition of the CLYDE&CLYDE fine program.



In Cleveland Sporty News....the Tribe----uh,the Tribe is playing a game that wasn't exactly in the mind of Abner Doubleday when he invented baseball.Early in the season as it is;anymore nonsense like today and the season will skip the big stage and go directly o NetFlix.

Down 2-0 in the sixth,the Indians score three to go ahead and then bring in what was thought to be the strength of team:The bullpen.

THE bullpen promptly gives up 3 runs in the 7th.

They couldn't wait an inning?

Anyways,the Indians bounce back to tie it with 2 in the eighth.

The guy sparking the offense was Jerry Sands.I've never HEARD of Jerry Sands! Is he the brother of Richard Sands from the Pledge of Allegiance?? The team is amazing in so many ways.But....the strength of the strength of the team,stopper Cody Allen, comes in the ninth and gives up 3 hits, 3 walks and 4 earned runs.


It's MILLER time!



Awful.




The Cavaliers will make the play offs and are getting ready by giving the bench more playing time.Actually,the real bench could do better.God help them if any starter goes down.

The Brownies are excited about Johnny Rotten having been sprung from the rehab center.

Doesn't that say enough about the team?



Ohio State....start the season already! PLEASE!!




Stay tuned,this thread may soon be for sale.

But I don't think even NoAdvantage would buy it.

But they do let Tits post over there.....so maybe they would!!



Remember Sporty Fans.....keep it real and give 'em steel.

And recalling the exploits of the Vikings Jim Marshall; we be roundin' second and headed home.
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  #2349  
Old 04-21-2015, 02:45 PM
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From Morty

================================================== ========

Welcome to another edition of the CLYDE&CLYDE fine program.

There is some Cleveland Sporty News,but first I should make mention of an important issue.


My Mom has tossed me from her weirdo threads.She seems to have had it with my foul mouth( her Irish soap trick never worked on me)and offensive attitude.Well excuse me.I was only defending the honor of my fellow weirdo's,but my appeal failed and so....I will be limited to pastey assisted posts in this thread only ( thanks Stevie for making me a permanent outcast just because I have more fans than you).



Now , there really is some Cleveland Sporty News but first I should make mention of an important issue.



One of the most serious users ( and these types are legion,mind you)of CLYDEFORM!! has done it again.That Chocolate Eating Choctaw, TeePee McKay, not only picked a $130 horsey just a few weeks back thanks to his CLYDEFORM!! studies;but in a sanctioned NHC contest of over 140 players this Saturday TeePee scored el numero uno with $220 in winnings after placing 8 $2 acb bets.That 220 was 60 more than the second place total.Mr. McKay is the model student for CLYDEFORM!!




Now for the Cleveland Sporty Page News:


The tribe trudged into ChiTown last night under the weight of a 4-7 record.

It showed.


They did, however, unleash a scoring barrage of 3 runs,offering promise of brighter horizons.That coupled with Bauer performing smartly....carried them into the bottom of the ninth with a 3-0 lead.On comes our no. 1 service station attendant,Mr.Arthur Garfunkle....whoa!....I mean Mr. Cody Allen.Cody was going to have a real tough time matching that abysmally awful performance of a few days ago which was covered here in the CSP.

Could he do it?


How does 1/3 of an inning pitched,1 walk,6 hits and 4 earned runs sound!!

He's just GOT it.That intangible that makes up a number one stopper.

Only he's supposed to stop the OTHER team;not us.


That's yet another successful blown opportunity Cody manged to pull off.....not all that easy.Gee, I wonder where Francona was after hit number 4? What was he thinking!? Maybe he was thinking about how he just might have inserted the rested glove glove center fielder in for defensive purposes in the 9th instead of letting the utility guy who normally utilities in the infield stay in?Could the 9th inning fly ball double been caught by Bourn?Does the sun normally rise in the morning?

Unfortunately these questions shall forever go unanswered.

Letting Allen stay in and not letting Bourn in;I think this is Terry's version of the double switch.

I'm thinking I won't have to wait for the last 20 games to get excited about the Indians.At this rate the season will essentially be over by next weekend.


Cavaliers beat Boston in the first round.This is swell.Beating Boston in any thing at any time is good.But....they "just be chillin'"right now.My hope is they don't have freezer burn by the time they play someone good.By the by,Pat Riley is doing a very mild version of Dan Gilbert over The Chiller's leaving.Couldn't be happier for the hypocrite.Worse days are ahead Pat, so enjoy your "almost" season now.



There is no hope for the Brownies.

Zero.

That's it.




In honor of Chris Weber...TIME OUT!!
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  #2350  
Old 04-27-2015, 07:24 PM
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From Morty


================================================== ============

Boy is there Cleveland Sporty News.




Guess who did not "be chillin''....????





The Cavaliers, wanting to upstage the Aprilweather/Girly Pacquiao fight,won a unanimous decision over the Boston SellTickets. Of note, JR Smith decked Jae Crowder with a beautiful reverse right cross and received a win via TKO for his efforts.Kevin Love's shoulder was warpped in a strangle hold by Kelly Olynyk and ....pfffft! Love's out for the Chicago series.Oh there were many exciting moments in this team boxing/wrestling match,Sporty Fans.

Just too bad they happened in a basketball game.


I do think the Chicago Moo Cows owe the SellTickets several first round draft choices considering what the Cavaliers starting 5 will look like for the series.


The Tribe's dash for that play in spot is now over.They did get some 15 games or so in to the season before making it obvious;have to credit them.The Brownies season is also now over in perhaps the earliest time it ever has been over.


But the really good news is the Cleveland born Choctaw,TeePee McKay ( who munches chocolate---a LOT),once again VAPORIZED the competition in another NHC horsey contest held at Golden Gate in their Whale Room.Tee Pee's first 4 win bets paid off thusly:

12.80
37.80
16.00
18.20


Graciously granting an interview afterwards to Andy Beyer,TeePee responded to the "how do you do it!?" question in this way:


"Well ya know....I tried Swineform but found it sadly lacking.Ever since I switched to CLYDEFORM!! I have been hotter than a 10's dupa.Next week I have already been invited to Churchill for the NHC contest on Friday and Saturday.Not to brag,but I plan to remove the all lymphnodes from my competition."

BEYER: "Great TeePee! Uh, would you giving me some help on picking the derby winner?"

TEE PEE: Well shore.Call me Tuesday.

That means phone me up Tuseday;not....oh never mind."




Sporty Fans----this MERHIGH's for you!!
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  #2351  
Old 05-09-2015, 10:53 PM
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From Morty



================================================== =============



Hello Sporty Fans.


I know you have been trying to split your personalities in hopes of creating massive energy so you may hang in there until you get the newest of all Cleveland Sporty Page news.Do you get the feeling I'm stalling? I know I sure do.

The truth is....the Tribe isn't awful because awful would be something about which to get excited.They are pretty much hopeless.The wheels aren't falling off the wagon;they went south a llllong time ago.Now,the players are showing great wear from trying to push that big 'ol heavy wagon.At this rate things are so bad that"wait until next year" becomes a lengthy stretch."Wait until 3 next years." is the best for what we can realistically hope.

The Brownies did have a pretty neat draft,I think.Stockpiling picks and trading for more,it guaranties quantity if not quality.The temptation to throw several high picks at teams for the opportunity to draft yet another Brady Sportscaster,Brandon Baseball or a Johnny Rotten as the 23rd pick in round one was kept in check.I still think they should have picked Evan Spencer and made him a qb,although I must say you can't beat the winning experience McCown brings with him from..............................I think I made a mistake;never mind.



The Cavaliers----mekin' copies.

Chicago learned from Boston and are trying out the pick,bludgeon n' roll.Wok good.The team left the SellTickets series one step from the grave;now they're closer.

We have two shooting guards and a point forward and two centers in the starting line up.

That don't sound right.


Fah-et it.



Are there REALLY rumblings for another AprilWeather/Girly fight?? Could they be coming from the two combatants camps? Oh, they wouldn't do such a thing----would they?

I notice NoAdvantage kicking that fight around on several fronts.I knew they didn't know anything about fb,baseball and basketball and horsey racing( BIG surprise!!).....now boxing may be added to their "weeshed ah knew somethin' about it" bucket list.





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64HLXWjbJxE

the end
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  #2352  
Old 05-11-2015, 01:27 PM
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"Every QB in Cleveland I loved,"

Ed Reed
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  #2353  
Old 05-11-2015, 06:33 PM
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From Morty



================================================== ==


Ed Reed,serial killer----Wisconsin??
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  #2354  
Old 05-16-2015, 10:13 PM
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From Mortimer


===========================================



Hello again Cleveland Sporty Page Fans and welcome to another edition of the swell CLYDE&CLYDE Cleveland Sporty Page.

As you all know, we here at the Cleveland Sporty Page gave you fine and in depth analysis of the Cavaliers/MooCow series;correctly predicting the outcome of each game.

Stevie may have darted that stuff......don't know for sure.

Anyways, we will be bringing you the same game by game analysis of the Cavaliers/Chickadees series just as soon as it is over.

The Tribe is really trying to show signs of competitiveness,but we are not fooled.The Browns aren't either;they know that ploy too well.


God I wish there was more to write here.


Maybe I can slip in a few words about Canadian Sparrow....as long as CS fans promise not to commit suicide because I am not going buy his bronze statue so I may kneel down in prayer to him.

He's a fine horsey, but a little shy of Citation and some of the other obvious legends.What looks to this extremely bright horsey analyzer as the real test of greatness,maybe....comes in the Belmont.Not just the distance,but even more so Materiality and Frosted.Then the worshipers will have something that at last will somewhat warrant their screams of terror over people not betting him and not accepting him as the second coming!

Really.....it's that bad.

My God....get a life already.

Oh enough.



Have a sporty day tomorrow,Sporty Fans.



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  #2355  
Old 05-16-2015, 11:48 PM
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hello mortimer--clyde!!


THE CLEVELAND INDIANS HAVE JUST COMPLETED THEIR FIRST TWO GAME WINNING STREAK SINCE APRIL 9TH!!!! THE NEXT TWO GAME STREAK IS NOW DUE ON JUNE 25TH! (maybe it's a texas thing....both two game winning streaks this year and series wins are against the two Texas teams....can all the MLB teams move to texas?)


MY CHAMPAGNE GLASS OVERFLOWETH WITH JOY!!!


THE CADAVERS JUST NEED TO LAUNCH THE 3 WITH ABANDON AGAINST THE HAWKS. THEY WILL BE FINE.

I SAW THE BROWNS CHANGED THE SHADE OF ORANGE IN THE TEAM COLORS. THAT IS WHAT WAS NEEDED I THINK TO FIX IT.
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  #2356  
Old 05-21-2015, 03:40 PM
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From Morty


===================================
HC!

How goes it sir?


Hope all is well with you.And I am Motrimer.I'm filling in for Clyde as he is involved with a phalanx of the leading psychologists and psychiatrists in trying to better understand the kumquatery going on at NoAdvantage as well as deciphering their strange tongue;the latter more in the hands of leading linguistic interpreters.


Anyhoo----the Tribe is catching fire.They just pulled off their 3rd two gamer.Cody came so close to adding another blown save opportunity,too.Oh well.He'll bounce back.


In a little seriousness,the Cavaliers are displaying a toughness foreign to past teams.It doesn't seem to matter who misses games or who plays at 50%.....they just keep winning.This is good.


The Browns change the wrong things.

But Haslam owns them.

Don't forget, he changed his truck stop company's position on customer rebates,too....but forgot to tell them.



Keep it real;and give 'em steel.
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Old 05-22-2015, 01:16 AM
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I read that about the haslam. it is odd he isn't in prison isn't it??

well, let me check that, no it isn't!! we know how these things work.

The Cadavers have been impressive....this series is far from over. King Prince of Akron I have noticed has been very good for the most part, but several times in these playoffs he enters into the prevent offense with 6 minutes left and a big lead. You know that offense and have talked about it often I believe! It involves a minimum of 17 dribbles standing still then commencing with a chaotic turnover. You waste 23 seconds but nothing else occurs. That should be kept to more of a minimum. Tristan Thompson has been their best player these 11 playoff games I believe. He does what he does extremely well. In fact, I think what he does well, he does better than what Love does well.

It has reached a 3 game streak for the glorious Tribe. IT is sad what has happened to the bullpen....a great strength last year. I'm starting to wonder what the effect of the lost Gomes has been. He is coming back thankfully. I do know they've lost 6 games where the Kluber-meister and the Trevor Bauer have given up 2 runs or less. That simply can't happen. I was certain good things would happen for them this year. The top 4 starting pitchers really do have wondrous arms for whatever that's worth. They can toss it.

The Ohio cup is at stake now so it's high tension on the lake this week!
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Old 05-24-2015, 02:23 PM
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From Morty




================================================== =========


And a fine True Bill you have posted.


Yes, Lee doesn't "just be chillin'" quite as much these days.The Loveless/Irvingless lineup has lost that defenseless trademark.It's much better now and a real case of less being more.

Can't mention the tribe's incredibly long winning streak or I'll get dizzy.I do agree the starters have really,really live arms.I'm more critical of the incompetence ( off. and def.) the front office felt comfortable with going into the season;like 3rd,short,first and right.One could throw in cf too,but they have about 14 million a year "invested".Mentioning Gomes is very fair.That hurt a lot,but he's back today.

Am unshore of that Ohio Cup thing.


Well ya know....I would make an atb on the 6 in GP's 13th.


Hang ten.
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  #2359  
Old 05-27-2015, 03:28 PM
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From Morty


==========================================


Sporty Fans,welcome to another segment of the CLYDE&CLYDE Cleveland Sporty Page.

The Tribe has bounced back and discovered they can only lose when they score 8 runs.... by giving up 10.New twist.Conversely, they recover by giving up only 4....but counter that threat by scoring only 3.

Blech.



On the other hand,we have the Cavaliers who have really surprised.Have to give them all the credit as they seem to have a firm resolve and play that out through the games.I do see them winning the title.Just wish it was State Penn they play next.I love beating the Nitwitty Kitties.


The Browns are still floating in their most exciting portion of the NFL year.

Always a real treat.



Boxing fans still buzzing over the Greatest Fight That Still Has Not Happened.That one I understand was a real nail filer.

If Canadian Sparrow does win the Belmont it will prove.....life is not fair.

I've been seeing Tale of Verve in a noodle film.He duplicates Victory Gallop's wonderful upset of the swine trained horse,Real Quiet.



But in the end it all comes back to the same thing:Big ol' pile o' money.... a human 50 feet from it.....and a poor animal standing in the way of that money.

Leaving the rest to your imaginations.



Rock on.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-wUe5aEwHM
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Old 06-02-2015, 06:18 PM
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From Morty/Clyde:

=============================================



This is the last edition of the CLYDE&CLYDE Cleveland Sporty page.

Before the festival begins, I'll finish here now.



The Tribe and Cavaliers are proving us wrong.

If the Browns do the same.....it's best we are no longer around.

Good day.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jmd4OLzhQw0
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