Just got in my first Bar Fight...

[hi_im_god]

"take your goddamn mitts off my shirt, palooka"

the big man frowned. he wasn't used to being talked to like that. he took his meathooks off my shirt and doubled one into a fist about the size and color of a large eggplant. he had his job, his reputation for toughness, his public esteem to consider. he considered them for a second and then made a mistake. he swung the fist very hard and short with a sudden outward jerk of the elbow and hit me on the side of the jaw. a soft sigh went around the room.

it was a good punch. the shoulder dropped and the body swung behind it. there was a lot of weight in that punch and the man who landed it had had plenty of practice. i didn't move my head more than an inch. i didn't try to block the punch. i took it.

a minute later it was all over. the gorilla was crumpled in a corner moaning quietly. i picked my hat up off the floor, dusted it off and put it back on.

"velma!", i called. "whiskey sour! and turn that music up!"

i didn't like to fight. never have. but is there any sight more ridiculous that a man letting another man knock his hat off?

i drank the sour in one slow swallow, heard the sirens coming, and walked slowly out to central avenue. it smelled like spring.

[ninetoone]

Originally Posted by hi_im_god

"take your goddamn mitt off my shirt. palooka"

this big man frowned. he wasn't used to being talked to like that. he took his meathooks off my shirt and doubled one into a fist about the size and color of a large eggplant. he had his job, his reputation for toughness, his public esteem to consider. he considered them for a second and then made a mistake. he swung the fist very hard and short with a sudden outward jerk of the elbow and hit me on the side of the jaw. a soft sigh went around the room.

it was a good punch. the shoulder dropped and the body swung behind it. there was a lot of weight in that punch and the man who landed it had had plenty of practice. i didn't move my head more than an inch. i didn't try to block the punch. i took it.

a minute later it was all over. the gorilla was crumpled in a corner moaning quietly. i picked my hat up off the floor, dusted it off and put it back on.

"velma!", i called. "whiskey sour! and turn that music up!"

i didn't like to fight. never have. but is there any sight more ridiculous that a man letting another man knock his hat off?

i drank the sour in one slow swallow, heard the sirens coming, and walked slowly out to central avenue. it smelled like spring.

i liked my post, but i gotta bow to this one...roflmao

[brianwspencer]

Originally Posted by hi_im_god

"take your goddamn mitts off my shirt. palooka"

this big man frowned. he wasn't used to being talked to like that. he took his meathooks off my shirt and doubled one into a fist about the size and color of a large eggplant. he had his job, his reputation for toughness, his public esteem to consider. he considered them for a second and then made a mistake. he swung the fist very hard and short with a sudden outward jerk of the elbow and hit me on the side of the jaw. a soft sigh went around the room.

it was a good punch. the shoulder dropped and the body swung behind it. there was a lot of weight in that punch and the man who landed it had had plenty of practice. i didn't move my head more than an inch. i didn't try to block the punch. i took it.

a minute later it was all over. the gorilla was crumpled in a corner moaning quietly. i picked my hat up off the floor, dusted it off and put it back on.

"velma!", i called. "whiskey sour! and turn that music up!"

i didn't like to fight. never have. but is there any sight more ridiculous that a man letting another man knock his hat off?

i drank the sour in one slow swallow, heard the sirens coming, and walked slowly out to central avenue. it smelled like spring.

I also found much to be learned from re-reading the original post in Chinese.

我轉動了二十一在5月1 日今年, 和進入酒吧戰鬥, 有點兒。我去酒吧與我的夥計, 那麼我們去一個地方墨西哥食物地方。這些人開始談**** 到我的朋友的當中一個因為他們是離開並且說這像"我們將支付您的票據, 來現在遇見我們在停車場" 。我告訴了他們對F 和使F 脫離這裡, 和他們做了他們回來的五幾秒後並且擊中了帽子我的夥計頭, 我如此應付做它和高聲呼喊**** 在他外面的人, 它然後是破壞, 他們被踢了, 並且我回家了。那是故事, 我會分享lol 的想法 一點現在被喝, 因此如果有任何錯別字不擔心對此。

[Mortimer]

Someone fouled my story....now I have to do it over.




Phooey.

[Mortimer]

It was nickle perogi night at The CheapWhiskeyDancer Bar....it was in mid summer around 7 years ago.


Oh it wasn't the nickle perogis that attracted me. ...I hate those vulcanized obsceneties anyway.


I was there to see the first Eskeemo cheap whiskey dancer. It was fabled her legs didn't even hint of stopping at her dupa and she could slam down 3 doubles after every dance as if they contained pinneappple juice and not FrankyFiveAngels Rye.

I came late...and they knew me there from my last visit when I cleaned out 17 Swedish military assault members and stuck their knives where cheese isn't made.

The bar was full.....and I love sitting at the bar.


I picked the toughest looking one to make sure there would be a message for all to enjoy.


I told him......" You're sitting in my seat."





He didn't like it.



Not the seat....what I said.






He replied.." Well I don't see yer stinkin' name on it."


I knew he didn't know me from the last time.



So I says......." No ..it ain't on my seat...it's on this....and my name is Colt .44." I pulled back my coat displaying a holstered Dirty Harry model." His eyes bugged



I smashed him over the head with a full bottle of OldGrandDad....as he slumped I picked him up and flung him about 20 feet across the bar.


I looked at all the dumbfounded retches and shrieked..."Anyone else wanna piece a me??"












They weren't interested.

[brockguy]

at least ye werent fighting among yourselves... a few members of this board have been known to do that.

[Mortimer]

eeny weeny 'pider maaan is twying to start a bar fight with me.






Perhaps he should come here and write a good Noodle story about how he kicked my a s s .

He'd fit right in.

[ninetoone]

Originally Posted by mortimerdexterfoxworthy

It was nickle perogi night at The CheapWhiskeyDancer Bar....it was in mid summer around 7 years ago.


Oh it wasn't the nickle perogis that attracted me. ...I hate those vulcanized obsceneties anyway.


I was there to see the first Eskeemo cheap whiskey dancer. It was fabled her legs didn't even hint of stopping at her dupa and she could slam down 3 doubles after every dance as if they contained pinneappple juice and not FrankyFiveAngels Rye.

I came late...and they knew me there from my last visit when I cleaned out 17 Swedish military assault members and stuck their knives where cheese isn't made.

The bar was full.....and I love sitting at the bar.


I picked the toughest looking one to make sure there would be a message for all to enjoy.


I told him......" You're sitting in my seat."





He didn't like it.



Not the seat....what I said.






He replied.." Well I don't see yer stinkin' name on it."


I knew he didn't know me from the last time.



So I says......." No ..it ain't on my seat...it's on this....and my name is Colt .44." I pulled back my coat displaying a holstered Dirty Harry model." His eyes bugged



I smashed him over the head with a full bottle of OldGrandDad....as he slumped I picked him up and flung him about 20 feet across the bar.


I looked at all the dumbfounded retches and shrieked..."Anyone else wanna piece a me??"












They weren't interested.

i actually was laughing out loud at this one...great stuff.

I liked Brian's

ohhhh, the last straw.

But this whole thread is very entertaining.

[Mortimer]

Originally Posted by ninetoone

i actually was laughing out loud at this one...great stuff.

---------------------

I am ,of course, behooved.





I owe you....well I don't know if I'd go that far.

[GPK]

the more bar fights you get in, the less your chances of having a good looking face like Morty.....just food for thought.
































thud.

[Mortimer]

Originally Posted by hi_im_god

"take your goddamn mitts off my shirt. palooka"

this big man frowned. he wasn't used to being talked to like that. he took his meathooks off my shirt and doubled one into a fist about the size and color of a large eggplant. he had his job, his reputation for toughness, his public esteem to consider. he considered them for a second and then made a mistake. he swung the fist very hard and short with a sudden outward jerk of the elbow and hit me on the side of the jaw. a soft sigh went around the room.

it was a good punch. the shoulder dropped and the body swung behind it. there was a lot of weight in that punch and the man who landed it had had plenty of practice. i didn't move my head more than an inch. i didn't try to block the punch. i took it.

a minute later it was all over. the gorilla was crumpled in a corner moaning quietly. i picked my hat up off the floor, dusted it off and put it back on.

"velma!", i called. "whiskey sour! and turn that music up!"

i didn't like to fight. never have. but is there any sight more ridiculous that a man letting another man knock his hat off?

i drank the sour in one slow swallow, heard the sirens coming, and walked slowly out to central avenue. it smelled like spring.

OOOOOOOOOO

[Mortimer]

Originally Posted by GPK

the more bar fights you get in, the less your chances of having a good looking face like Morty.....just food for thought.

thud.

OOOOOOOOOO










OOOOOOOOOO













OOOOOOOOOOO














OOOOOOOOOO











OOOOOOOOOO

[GPK]

Originally Posted by mortimerdexterfoxworthy

OOOOOOOOOO










OOOOOOOOOO













OOOOOOOOOOO














OOOOOOOOOO











OOOOOOOOOO

Speechless I see.


It's okay...I will talk to thebby and see about restoring you to your former glory.
















you can thank me later.

[Mortimer]

Those were 50 pies.




Don't be a hog.

[GPK]

Originally Posted by mortimerdexterfoxworthy

Those were 50 pies.




Don't be a hog.

Pies are a good thing....

[hoovesupsideyourhead]

you learn a lot of things on the way to 500..

[Mortimer]

Originally Posted by DaHoss9698

Morty, fine work in here. That story made me want to go out tonight and beat someone up.


But I won't.

ror!



Too kind.

Next time you get that feeling check with me....I have several suggetsions for you.

[Mortimer]

Looks as though Mr. Noodle spent a peacful ,violence free Saturday evening.





I thought............. Shirley he will go to a biker bar and straighten everybody out.

Originally Posted by mortimerdexterfoxworthy

Well it sounds like something a Noodle would make up.

This sounds more like a PillowPants fight rather than a bar fight.Next time make it so at least 2 contestents go to emergency.






And I love what Philski'sTwin....I mea SatansTwin said.

That hurts coming from the chatty Kathy forum queerbait. I will give you credit that you've mustered enough courage to bring your halfassed insults back from the depths of PM's, however.