The ClydeVivor Oaks/Derby SightyPooKins Benefit Contest

[Rileyoriley]

ClydeForm Belmont Wrap up from The Editor:

I hope all horsey fans are enjoying the night;when it's dark.

By golly, that reminds me of a column I wrote for the New York Toast.

Here it is:



VISCERAL VOMTINGS AVOIDED

by Clyde Collinwood-creator of CLYDEFORM!!


Visceral vomitings may be a redundancy,but it sounds nifty and a bit poetic.Anyhoo----Ticket Wrong didn't do sa hot,thereby laying to waste all the Toasties.Better yet,CaliforniaAluminum failed to do so and that sent psychotic reactions throughout the Chromester Community.

It was a very satisfying Saturday of atonement.One had to visualize Sali hanging some in the stretch and Ticket Wrong was only able to beat mostly locals at the NY tracks.A highly overrated horsey.If you were a subscriber to CLYDEFORM!!.....you had the winner and all the exotics.CLYDEFORM!! even predicted the dead heat for fourth.Some will say,"'HEY!! Your picks were wrong.I saw them!"

Uh,no.

Those public picks are done in code.

Users know this.

It protects them from paying for what everyone else would get for free.They know the code and they know that CLYDEFORM!! is the hottest ticket going.But getting back to the big dance,I think Stevie Coburn should be appointed ambassador to N.Korea.He is so perfectly suited for that position given his having birthed a live cow on the big stage.

Ticket Wrong was a no show and apparently SaliChrome's push button malfunctioned.Perhaps now the Toasties and the Chromesters will commiserate over mookies and hydrated cornflakes.The only two groups in history matching these two's plethora of pernicious predictions were Heaven's Gate and Hugh Beaumont's drinking buddies.

We should all find ourselves in horsey happiness over the immense failure of Toasties and Chromesters.Their bombast and snottings have been slammed back into their little pinch faces and their lives in ruins.They have nothing else to do.I find this a most pleasant thought.Let us not forget the inclusion of those whose only reason for living is to see a triple crown happen.They may be the most irascible party poopers of all time and should consider minor league hockey.

Gosh this is so fun!!

Andy Beyer,48.5 for the first half mile of a 12 paneler is not slow.Stop drinking the BeyerAid.

Now, some maybe can really, really understand the meaning of keepin' it real and given 'em steel.That is how this unparalleled writer sees the result of the 2014 running of the Belmonty Steaks.

Celebrate with me,won't you?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMUyf05cA7k

[my miss storm cat]

From he who shall not be named...

Greetings from South Water St. and East Summit, where the doomed are never desperate and only the clocks tell the time.

Unfairness not only runs on Belmont's dirt,but on each and every one of our life paths.It's just not fair.God better get a move on and stop the unfairness.
All the same,I would like to type ;this contest really blows.It wasn't fair.I had to go up against too many players.That's not fair.You have SightyPoo slinging rib crackers at every corner and that was a distraction.Then there was BrownSugah mekin' copies and epoxy brownies along with a Chromester (although a mild one) who I felt played nikkidie and the contest owner imploring all to cheat.There were players in and out with the last new shooter being FiveKingsInAStraightPokerGame.I strongly suspect he cheated.Beefherky should have been tossed because anyone afforded CLYDEFORMS!! advanced handicapping tools is at an insurmountable advantage.

Anyone notice the flame out at NoAdvantage by Insecticide(TM)? Somewhat reminiscent of JihadScientist.Of course, SpecialMethamphetamineMan just disappeared which was kind of expected considering his historic "lol@ Chrome not hitting the boards"...."lol@ Tonalist"...".lol@ you all.The other Belmont horses are running for second place". Those were just a few of the suicidal comments made by the environmental hazzard.I had the strong feeling all three of these ThaiGuys were made up of one cross dresser.

So many good things to take from that Belmont.Fairness does pop up now and then....however:We dasn't forget those wonderful amenities made available to the huge throngSaturday.Boy,does the NYRA know how to stiff its patrons,or what? Was noticed by me that many attendees posted how they were not exactly happy campers over the whole mess.There was an expected feeble attempt by Toasties to somehow come up with wild NYRA defenses,but boy did they give up the "ah did not know the gun was loaded" routine, right ricky ticky.



By the by,this constitutes my very last post at NerdyTrail.Mega doo dahs!! to my surrogate,Deborah LunarLady.I think there were times she imagined applying a ligature to my neck....but she knows competent autopsy room physicians can spot that right quick.


I should also thank doo dah!!,LittleRun and Betty Gioia Crocker for also pasting up a post or two for me.

There is no reason for me anymore.(Golly I love talking about me;more!!)I have been darted multiple times at each of the horsey boards.In off board life, unless I give people a mini Heshey bar, no one likes me.I have no zebra-----I have no penguin.I have no reason.

I will now make my final exit....as only I can.I'm in a darkened room where only I can be seen via a soft spotlight.My exit begins as I walk to a door,open it,go through it...and shut it.

The door opens again and I reappear as I discover that door led to an itty bitty closet.I now walk to the other side of the room and find a door that is truly the exit.Open,walk through ....shut.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=At3FH01FlWU

[Rileyoriley]

"Autopsy room doctors" can be bought.


You WILL be here for the next edition of the ClydeVivor contest series:
The Eddie Haskell-Jim Pansey-Travesty Triple.


If we played by S. Coburn's rules-a horse would have to run in all 3 races. However there is a chance not all the horses would make it from Long Island to Monmouth in time (traffic issues on the highway) and because I dislike Mr. Coburn's poor sportsmanship, my rules will apply.

P.S. Hansen is not eligible Clyde. He's no longer 3.

[Sightseek]

Originally Posted by Rileyoriley

"Autopsy room doctors" can be bought.


You WILL be here for the next edition of the ClydeVivor contest series:
The Eddie Haskell-Jim Pansey-Travesty Triple.


If we played by S. Coburn's rules-a horse would have to run in all 3 races. However there is a chance not all the horses would make it from Long Island to Monmouth in time (traffic issues on the highway) and because I dislike Mr. Coburn's poor sportsmanship, my rules will apply.

P.S. Hansen is not eligible Clyde. He's no longer 3.

[Sightseek]

This one is for Clyde (I know you're watching!)

Tap....Tap....TAPITURE!!!

[Rileyoriley]

Originally Posted by Sightseek

This one is for Clyde (I know you're watching!)

Tap....Tap....TAPITURE!!!

There will be repercussions for this nincompoopence.

[Rileyoriley]

Originally Posted by Sightseek

This one is for Clyde (I know you're watching!)

Tap....Tap....TAPITURE!!!

DebbieKins....would you tell SnottyPoo that I do not read NerdyTrail anymore and that she is now no.1 on my Hunt&Kill list.

[Rileyoriley]

= I ran across this in the NATIONAL SOCIETY OF GREAT POIM WRITERS.It is the not all that long lost last poim by -ALAN-:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41n3mwCcZQ4

if you pledged allegiance to the flag
and met a streetcar named desire
would you run yourself for a very small tag
and set you bra on fire?

if you ran with the bulls and danced with fate
and tossed you cares away
would you head for the hills,having romanced your date
and manage your affairs today?

if you talked to a zebra who knew an amoeba
and you thought it so untrue
would you say "eureka!,i know an akita!"
and then slam down a glass of moo?

if you loved a horsey who was no big dea
l and gave candy to someone you did not know
would you also love tommy the trained seal
and then bet on yourself to show?

if you sucked on a big sucker,an immense alltheday
and sought your fortune and fame
would you forget all about intenseholiday
and stop recalling his name?

if you made it through life while avoiding crime
and tried to do right at the zoo
would you reconcile you were short on time
and referenced a story of the blues?

if all you wanted was a little more
and talked to the unknown soldier
would you see he could not grow older
and you had become such bore?

if you really liked onefourdave as well as hershey bars
and rolled with the punches and walked your own way
would you ask for onemorefave as well as the way to the stars
and ruin your life by the grant of a stay?


but a dream goes on forever


the not all that long lost last poim by -ALAN-....from Flakes of Snow

[Sightseek]

Originally Posted by Rileyoriley

DebbieKins....would you tell SnottyPoo that I do not read NerdyTrail anymore and that she is now no.1 on my Hunt&Kill list.

[Rileyoriley]

Originally Posted by Rileyoriley

"Autopsy room doctors" can be bought.


You WILL be here for the next edition of the ClydeVivor contest series:
The Eddie Haskell-Jim Pansey-Travesty Triple.


If we played by S. Coburn's rules-a horse would have to run in all 3 races. However there is a chance not all the horses would make it from Long Island to Monmouth in time (traffic issues on the highway) and because I dislike Mr. Coburn's poor sportsmanship, my rules will apply.

P.S. Hansen is not eligible Clyde. He's no longer 3.

It has been suggested that we add shopping cart races to the contest. Clyde wants his cart pulled by Hansen.

Or maybe Hansen will ride in the cart and Clyde will push it????

[OldDog]

Shopping for ice cream? I am so there.

Complain? Why would I???

[geeker2]

geeeeeeeeeezeeeeeee I almost forgot

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLYDE !!!!!!!!!

[my miss storm cat]

Originally Posted by OldDog

Shopping for ice cream? I am so there.

Complain? Why would I???

Well you wouldn't but Morty, for some reason, is equating the whole licking ice cream off of tits scenario with Pace Advantage so it's now out.

Oh well we will think of another fun activity.

Shall we buy some Legos? Oh no wait Morty might need a helmet for that one.

Shall I pass out some string cheese whilst I ponder?

Ooops no Morty might get hurt... better make it brie.

He'll probably say no to popsicles...

Must ponder.

Originally Posted by geeker2

geeeeeeeeeezeeeeeee I almost forgot

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLYDE !!!!!!!!!

Is that today (AGAIN)?

Originally Posted by Rileyoriley

It has been suggested that we add shopping cart races to the contest. Clyde wants his cart pulled by Hansen.

Or maybe Hansen will ride in the cart and Clyde will push it????

Are we dying their hair / mane and - if so - what color?

[Sightseek]

While not an official race of the ClydeVivor Summer Sizzler Contest, Ned and Hydra do hope you will participate in their lovely festivities for the weekend.

The Ned and Hydra Winner Gets Ice Cream Contest

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9NIZOvfKpc

Rules:

1. Pick one horsey to win in the Dwyer;
2. Pick one horsey to WPS in the Ned and Hydra Invitational;
3. Pick any three horses for the exacta box in the Ned and Hydra Invitational

The cards....

4th (2:56) Dwyer S. (G3)

1 1/16 Miles | Open | 3 Year Olds Stakes | Purse: $200,000

1 Kid Cruz Ortiz I Jr 121 L
2 Spot Lezcano J 115 L
3 Ulanbator Leparoux J R 115 L
4 Captain Serious Ortiz J L 115 L
5 Tiz Dark Velazquez J R 115 L
6 Gaining Ground Lanerie C J 115 L

7th (4:34) The Ned and Hydra Invitational S. (G1)

1 1/4 Miles (Inner turf) | Open | 3 Year Olds Stakes | Purse: $1,250,000

1 Toast of New York Spencer J P 122 FTL
2 Sheldon Alvarado J 122 L
3 Bobby's Kitten Castellano J J 122 L
4 Adelaide (IRE) O'Donoghue C 122 FTL
5 Flamboyant (FR) Rosario J 122 L
6 Dance With Fate Nakatani C S 122 L
7 Gailo Chop (FR) Auge J 122
8 Pornichet (FR) Ortiz J L 122 Blk-On FTL
9 Mr Speaker Lezcano J 122 L
10 Global View Stevens G L 122 L
11 Gala Award Velazquez J R 122 L

[my miss storm cat]

That was special, Old Dog.

Originally Posted by Sightseek

Rules:

1. Pick one horsey to win in the Dwyer;
2. Pick one horsey to WPS in the Ned and Hydra Invitational;
3. Pick any three horses for the exacta box in the Ned and Hydra Invitational

Just to be clear are we allowed to pick the horses after the race cause if that's the case I might do a little better.

I'd also like to know if Hansen will be running in both races.

Thanks!

[Rileyoriley]

Originally Posted by Sightseek

While not an official race of the ClydeVivor Summer Sizzler Contest, Ned and Hydra do hope you will participate in their lovely festivities for the weekend.

The Ned and Hydra Winner Gets Ice Cream Contest

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9NIZOvfKpc

Rules:

1. Pick one horsey to win in the Dwyer;
2. Pick one horsey to WPS in the Ned and Hydra Invitational;
3. Pick any three horses for the exacta box in the Ned and Hydra Invitational

The cards....

4th (2:56) Dwyer S. (G3)

1 1/16 Miles | Open | 3 Year Olds Stakes | Purse: $200,000

1 Kid Cruz Ortiz I Jr 121 L
2 Spot Lezcano J 115 L
3 Ulanbator Leparoux J R 115 L
4 Captain Serious Ortiz J L 115 L
5 Tiz Dark Velazquez J R 115 L
6 Gaining Ground Lanerie C J 115 L

7th (4:34) The Ned and Hydra Invitational S. (G1)

1 1/4 Miles (Inner turf) | Open | 3 Year Olds Stakes | Purse: $1,250,000

1 Toast of New York Spencer J P 122 FTL
2 Sheldon Alvarado J 122 L
3 Bobby's Kitten Castellano J J 122 L
4 Adelaide (IRE) O'Donoghue C 122 FTL
5 Flamboyant (FR) Rosario J 122 L
6 Dance With Fate Nakatani C S 122 L
7 Gailo Chop (FR) Auge J 122
8 Pornichet (FR) Ortiz J L 122 Blk-On FTL
9 Mr Speaker Lezcano J 122 L
10 Global View Stevens G L 122 L
11 Gala Award Velazquez J R 122 L

Prizes????? Recycled brownies perhaps?

[OldDog]

Originally Posted by geeker2

geeeeeeeeeezeeeeeee I almost forgot

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLYDE !!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by my miss storm cat

Is that today (AGAIN)?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jY1rqtWQwbs

[Rileyoriley]

You WILL be here for the next edition of the ClydeVivor contest series:
The Eddie Haskell-Jim Pansey-Travesty Triple.


If we played by S. Coburn's rules-a horse would have to run in all 3 races. However there is a chance not all the horses would make it from Long Island to Monmouth in time (traffic issues on the highway) and because I dislike Mr. Coburn's poor sportsmanship, my rules will apply.

P.S. Hansen is not eligible Clyde. He's no longer 3.[/quote]



I'm getting bored waiting for the "Eddie Haskell-Jim Pansey-Travesty Triple".

How about a Sara's Toga SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! contest?
(Not to be confused with Spyder's Very Fine Saratoga Contest )

Rules:
Pick 1 horse each day of the meet (any race you wish). You get said horse WPS, exotics, $2 if it finishes the race, $1 if it tosses the jockey after the gate opens, .50 if it wanted to run but was forced to scratch due to circumstances beyond it's control.


Special Saturday Addition: The Thistley Down Ohio Not run At The SPAAAAAA!!!! Derby! Race 8 featuring Cleburne Clyde and a horse after my own heart "Larcenyinmyheart.

[OldDog]

Originally Posted by Rileyoriley

Special Saturday Addition: The Thistley Down Ohio Not run At The SPAAAAAA!!!! Derby! Race 8 featuring Cleburne Clyde and a horse after my own heart Larcenyinmyheart.

One Who Epistolizes Through Others asks that I share this (alleged) photo of one who (allegedly) has larceny in her heart