Celeb Matches

[Downthestretch55]

Kramer, Kramer, Kramer????
Are you really the Michael Richards that was so good on Seinfeld?
Do I comb my hair like you? Do I leave my shirt untucked?
Michael, you used to be someone I looked to for the "sanity".
Sure, the drive on the FDR putting down the highway cones was funny.
Sure, making George pay time after time was plenty good.
But, HEY! I had no idea. NONE!
You've got some 'splainin' to do buddy.
I'm matching you with Aretha Franklin. She'll be whuppin' your skinny bottom while singing her song...R-E-S-P-E-C-T !!!
Get it Michael?
Now bend over and accept the whuppin' you've earned with your racial comments.
http://www.playfuls.com/news_0003381...acist_Row.html

Pass the vasoline after you wipe some where ya sit

[Downthestretch55]

Good news!
During the stop over in Hawaii on the flight back from Viet Nam, Dubbya made a reunion with his long lost brother.
Seems that Laura was away for a quickie "hula lesson" (wink, wink), and lonely boy Dubbya had heard that the "brother we don't talk about" was living nearby. So, despite Bonzo's protests of meeting his presidential brother, the secret service was insistant. Bonzo wasn't happy at all, but after the photos were taken, the family resemblance couldn't be denied.
Many hugs were fondly exchanged by the long lost brothers at their parting.
So, today's match are the two brothers, one famous, one infamous.
Here are the photos:
http://www.bushorchimp.com/pics.html

pass the bananas

[Downthestretch55]

Kelly, Rosie and Clay

Well, Kelly Ripa, peroxide babe that you are, it seems that you over reacted about having Clay put his filthy hand over your botox lips. Was there really a need to "out" him? Did you think of all the housewife fans that lust for him?
Seems that a lot of hearts have been broken, by you Kelly.
Even Rosie thought you were out of line, and you know how credible she is!
So, today's celeb match is going to take place at the Motel Six, on Rt.4, just over the Geo Washington on the Jersey side.
Kelly, Rosie and Clay.
Rosie, bring your junk food. (LOTS)
Clay, bring your favorite beverage (wink).
And Kelly, if you're really looking to have a fun time, bring your vibrator.

http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/a...611220391/1046

pass the batteries

[Downthestretch55]

Another great match came along today.
Seems that Barbara Bush (the twin daughter) had her purse snatched.
It was probably empty, cause we all know how tight daddy is, and he's empty too.
Anyway, the Secret Service that was given the task of protecting one of the "first daughters" let their knickers slip. My guess is that the guy needed to use the "Men's Room" after all the brewskies, but who knows...
Greg Pitts, head travel agent of the White House made plenty of sputterings.
Speaking of sputterings, the Honolulu Police Department's motorcycle "thrill team" deserves credit for their expert driving. They might have taken motor cycle riding lessons from Evil Kneival. "Where's the Snake River Canyon gonna end?" And "Where's the ripcord for my f'n parachute?"
So, another match for today, daughter Barbara (purseless), and Slick Fingered
Jack Abramoff...a match made in heaven, or the other place.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article...466680,00.html

pass a motorcycle to George Daddy Dubbya Bush, and three more to the Honolulu Police Dept...vrooom vrooom!

[Downthestretch55]

Slow news day today...not much going on with all the turkeys being appreciated, all the stuffing being stuffed.
Speaking of "stuffed", it seems that Rosie O'D, babe that she is, has found "bonding" with another big boat.
So, today's match...Big Rosie and Norwegian Pearl. Christening happens.
http://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm?B...&PAG=461&rfi=9
Smooth sailing ahead for both "ships".

pass the gang plank, hoist the yard arm, ahoy matey!

[Downthestretch55]

Escape artist David Blaine has pulled off another amazing feat. This one will benefit many people in need. I hope to match him with Secretary of State Condi Rice so he can give her some "escape tactics" from the spinning gyro called Iraq. Plenty of needy people live there too.
http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_i...4369961605B225

pass the gyro, baclava later

[Downthestretch55]

The buzz is all about Dick Cheney meeting up with buddy-boy King Abdullah in Saudi Arabia. It is hoped that they renew old times and have a great time.
Seems that the King hunts with falcons and insisted that VP Cheney leave his shotgun at home. Perhaps the after hunt festivities in the privacy of the tent will bring another chapter to the "Arabian Nights", as long as there's plenty of vasoline to rub on any penetrations to Richard's bouncy bottom.

The real buzzzzzz today involves the two lovely peroxide "blondes", Britney and Paris, sporting matching leopard outfits. Can anyone remember the words to the classic ballad "Any Port in the Storm"?
Are they doing rehearsals for their upcoming video to rival the "Baby back ribs Smokin' Mountain" that will feature a one timer whose name starts with a B?
Seems that Britney and Paris will not be outdone. Wiggle those fancy spotted bottoms but please don't sing. Humming will be enough.
Is the sequel going to feature tiger stripes? I'll stay tuned.
You both know how to continue to dish out the "red meat".

http://people.aol.com/people/gallery...1364_1,00.html

pass the k-y jelly, no peanut butter necessary, it's "sticky" doncha know?