Anybody hear any good jokes lately?

[opusone]

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students
have turned in all their work and there is really nothing
more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher
decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask,
first and correctly can leave early today."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says,
"Abraham Lincoln."
Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."
Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.
Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his
mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."
Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says,
"I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"