Let's Play Mascot Matchup

[Swap Fliparoo]

Originally Posted by philcski

EAST
Round 1
Pittsburgh-ETSU: Panthers eat Buccaneers before they can pull their scurvy swords... Pitt
Oklahoma State-Tennessee: Cowboys are tougher than Volunteers. OSU
Florida State-Wisconsin: Badgers are slow. Seminole Indians trap them. FSU
Xavier-Portland State: Musketeers have guns, Vikings don't. Xavier
Duke-Binghamton: Bearcats can't survive in Hell. Duke
Texas-Minnesota: Cows are fat and slow but so are Gophers. Texas
Villanova-American: Wildcats eat Eagles, even in Philly. Villanova
UCLA-VCU: Rams have horns, Bears don't. VCU

Round 2
Pitt-OSU: Bullriders lasso calves. They're kind of like little Panthers. OSU
Xavier-FSU: Guns or bows and arrows? Xavier
Duke-Texas: In India, the cow is sacred. That stops the Devil. Texas
Villanova: Rams have horns, Wildcats don't.

Round 3
OSU-Xavier: Small pistols or big rifles? Xavier
Texas-VCU: In Wyoming and Montana, cowboys chase rams away from their cattle herd. Ain't no cowboys around to protect them in this matchup. VCU

Round 4
Xavier-VCU: The hunters catch the hunted. Xavier

My only problem with your argument stems from this matchup - Rams have curved horns, a blunt instrument, not a sharp killing one. Bears are extremely fearsome when riled up, and their claws are pretty sharp. Not that I'm partial to UCLA or anything (), but I would have given the Bruins the edge here ... Although I suppose the muskets would have ultimately gotten the bears, anyway.