[Rileyoriley]

A handicapping guide by Clyde:


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Hello SportyFans.


This is Clyde Ten Pied McBride .........typing.

I know how thrilled you all are to finally have a rare opportunity to read me.It's almost as exciting for me to be here-----almost.

I'm going to provide you with in depth analysis of todays 5 star race.Should be a real jim dandy.Forget the name of it, but it's that $600,000 deal at Sara's today.I have chosen not to go off the main today so as not to endanger the board life of my conduit here............................boy ,is that not only is a bad use of the term but a real woody generator as well.

I am talking about what'shername, of course. Forgot it ,too.Just look at the name of who posted this for me....that's her.I'll bet she has a really,really fine dupa, but I have no way of knowing

Before I start I would point out that if the timing of this race is right.....Scotis,still running from last year's same race,could well win this thing.So should that happen----well I get credit.

The Indians make me want to vomit. They knock off Detroit who had the funny guy from MAD TV pitching,then get slaughtered the very next night by that awful collection of players called the Twins.Oh well, that's horsey racing.



What am I saying??

That's baseball.

Oh my God.



All right, it's time.










If I could only remember for what.










God this is embarrassing.










Nuts....tell you what, while I try to remember-----I'm throwing out my analysis for the Dim Jandy today.





1....Alfalfa

Shouldn't a Little Rascal be in the Eddie Haskell?



Yes.



crinkle...


trash can




2....Stay Firsty Falcony


Already a keepah!





3....Atigun


Doesn't that sound like a brand name for a dental adhesive?

Name one dental adhesive who won the Dim Jandy.


....uh,no....



crinkle...


trash can






4....Neck N' Neck


What if he wins by a neck?

You know who he reminds me of? Perk N' Peak.

Remember? The name of the method for stimulating SightyPoo's nipples.



Do you think Neck N' Neck excites SightyPoo's nipples?

Ah don't.





crinkle...


trash can






5....Joe Adonis


Can an LCN head from the 50's hit the boards in this race?

I do think so.

Those guys fix races....and believe me,this race is fixed.



So, keepah.






6....Teeth of the Dog



What the fucl< does that mean!!?


Stupid.





crinkle...


trash can






7....The Hay's On


And the cow jumped over the moon.

Jimmy Cracked corn and I don't care.

Cry me a friggin' rivah.







whiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!







8....







Don't laugh....this isn't funny.

He won't score anyways-----whoever he was.





Stay Firsty Falcony for WPS....e-box him with Joe Adonis.

The tri box is 2,5 and Stevie out (all).

If that gets you darted,what'syourname....too bad-----way it goes.