I'm sorry I missed out on all of this.
I drove over to Partners - no hacky sack games with old, old friends from the LP who typically haunt there, didn't even see the goofy photo finish guy from the track .. just a bunch of mostly retarded dudes, strippers, a college baseball all-star game on TV and a bartender who has some solid takes from time to time.
Sat down to tip a very fit, strong, and somewhat flat chested dancer a buck - pretty girl, I saw her do a thing where she leans over and rubs her forehead on the dudes junk .. so I was like 'ah yeah, I'll let her rub her forehead on my junk for a buck' .. but, I didn't get that treatment.
Instead she pulled me in, with authority, to do the whole 'blacken the eyes with boobies' move that is the calling card move for every stripper I've ever seen that has big pillowy breasts or fake boobs .. it was a big time fail and near disaster. I thought she broke my roman nose with her chest muscles. God it was awful.
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