Quote:
Originally Posted by herkhorse
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Old joke - Flip Wilson.
A classic Flip Wilson joke:
"I am still under a great deal of depression, I attended a funeral of a very very good friend by the name of George. George died. And last Sunday morning I didn't have anything to do and I figured that I would go by the funeral parlor where George was and see how they handled the final arrangements. And his wife was very excited, you know she's never had quite a large sum of money like this before. She ran in and ran up to the coffin and the undertaker had George laid out in a brown suit. She said to him how come you have George laid out in brown? The undertaker said well lady I went through my stock, brown suits were all I had left and I figured that George looked pretty nice in brown so I dressed him in brown. The woman said well George doesn't like brown. She said George likes blue. And George wants to be buried in a blue suit. The undertaker said now look lady today's Sunday, all the stores are closed. He said there's no place open to get a blue suit today. And the woman said that's your problem. For the money that I'm paying for this you're gonna do it like I want it done. Now I'm going down the street to get some flowers for George and I'll be gone five minutes and when I come back I want you to have George in a blue suit. Shoom! Gone. Five minutes later she ran back in, ran over to the coffin, looked down and George ahs a blue suit on. She turned to the fella and said I thought you said the stores were closed? And the fella said they are lady. She said well where did you get the blue suit from? Fella said well right after you left they brought in another Fella who'd split and he had a blue suit on so I figured that I'd dress him in George's brown and do George up in his blue. The lady said but I was just gone five minutes, how'd you change the suits so fast? Fella said I didn't change the suits lady I switched the heads."