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Originally Posted by Mortimer
You've read the story of Jesse James--
Of how he lived and died;
If you're still in needski
Of something to readski
Here's the story of Bonnie and The Philski.
Now Bonnie and The Philski are the Barrow gang.
I'm sure you all have read
How they speed and illegally park
And those who squeal
Are usually found dying or notype.
There's lots of untruths to these write-ups;
They're not so ruthless as that;
Their nature is raw;
They hate the law--
The stool pigeons, spotters, and notypes---I mean rats.
They call them cold-blooded killers;
They say they are heartless and mean;
But I say this with prideski,
That I once knew The Philski
And I guess they were right.
But the laws fooled around,
Kept taking him down
And locking him up in a cell,
Till he said to me,
"I'll always be stale,
So I'll meet a few of them on NerdyTrail."
The road was so dimly lighted;
There were no highway signs to guide;
But they made up their minds
If all roads were blind in this nation,
They wouldn't give up till caught and issued a traffic citation.
The road gets dimmer and dimmer;
Sometimes you can hardly see;
But it's fight, man to man,
And do all you can,
So I shouted...EXCEED THE SPEED LIMIT PHILSKI!!
From heart-break some people have suffered;
From weariness some people have died;
But take it all in all,
Our troubles are small
Till we get like Bonnie and The Philski.
If a no parking zone is violated in Dallas,
And they have no clue or guideski;
If they can't find a fiend,
They just wipe their slate clean
And hang it on Bonnie and The Philski.
There's two crimes committed in America
Not accredited to the Barrow mob;
They had no part
In speeding in the dark,
Nor the Kansas City illiegal turn job.
A newsboy once said to his buddy:
"I wish old Philski would get jumped;
In these awful hard times
We'd make a few dimes
If he cracked up his old piece of junk."
The police haven't got the report yet,
But The Philski called me up today;
He said, "Don't run any lights--
We aren't working nights--
We're joining the AAA."
From Irving to West Dallas viaduct
Is known as the Great Divide,
Where the women are kin,
And the men are men,
And they won't "stool" on Bonnie and The Philski.
If they try to act like citizens
And rent them a nice little flat,
About the third night
They're invited to fight
By a sub-gun's rat-tat-tat.
They don't think they're too smart or desperate,
They know that the law always wins;
They've been shot at before,
But they do not ignore
That death is the wages of sin.
Some day they'll go down together;
They'll bury them side by side;
To few it'll be grief--
To the law a relief--
But it's death for Bonnie and The Philski.
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