This brings back some dark days.
I couldn't be there for Nick when he died. Long story - basically jerks at work. I've never got over it. Gretchen was special. I prepared all of her food in her twilight. She actually told me in her way - it was time. She walked up and gave me a kiss good-bye and she was not a kissie dog at all.
I'm sorry you are going through this. There is no way around it.
