Oldie but goodie
BUTTERCUPS AND GOLF BALLS
Towards the end of a round of golf, Dave hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty, yellow buttercups.
Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.
All of a sudden, POOF!
In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared.
She said, 'I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life... better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life... As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!!!'
Then POOF!. she was gone!
After Dave recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, 'Fred, where are you?'
Fred yells back 'I'm over here in the ***** willows.'
Dave shouts back, 'DON'T SWING, Fred' FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SWING!