This Is Normal
 

They forgot to mention in the article that he used to wear one contact for six months at a time.

I knew a dude who told a few of us that he makes out with his pillow while he beats off.

And no ... he doesn't wear one contact at a time.

What an ameutuer!

and I'm not allowed to marry a woman?

I don't know if it's recognized by the state, but I have to go to one of those unions/weddings this weekend.

I think you should be

thank you

Is this a step up or a step down from a sock?

HUGE step down.

You rub one out on a sock - you just pitch it on the floor and throw it away whenever you feel an urge to clean - or throw it in the wash whenever you feel an urge to do laundry.

You have to sleep with the pillow.

The sock is like the $5 Korean street hooker to the pillows wife of your children.