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-   -   Tips For Progress (http://www.derbytrail.com/forums/showthread.php?t=19534)

Mortimer 01-20-2008 11:01 AM
Tips For Progress
 
When taking a new date to your destination in your car.....and you know you need to make a good first impression so that you may fornicate with her later in the evening......in the night....when it's dark.......





....ask her to touch your nose.




Have your thumb on the horn so when she touches your nose the horn will honk in a simultaneous fashion.

She will think you are very creative and highly amusing.....you're 3/4 of the way there after that one.

Hickory Hill Hoff 01-20-2008 11:58 AM
..........and don't forget the clown shoes and "pull my finger" trick!

Mortimer 01-20-2008 12:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hickory Hill Hoff
..........and don't forget the clown shoes and "pull my finger" trick!


Oh shut up.





That's why you don't get any.

Mortimer 01-20-2008 12:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaHoss9698
Wow

Yes...great stuff..aye?

Coach Pants 01-20-2008 12:15 PM

Hickory Hill Hoff 01-20-2008 12:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mortimer
Oh shut up.





That's why you don't get any.
With your posts lately, sounds like you DON'T :eek:

Mortimer 01-20-2008 12:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hickory Hill Hoff
With your posts lately, sounds like you DON'T :eek:


Well I didn't see you posting what you do when alone...at night...in the dark!!

Mortimer 01-20-2008 12:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pillow Pants

That's a TAN-AH-SEE LOLunteer!!

Hickory Hill Hoff 01-20-2008 12:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mortimer
Well I didn't see you posting what you do when alone...at night...in the dark!!
Yes I did...........






dream of...........?????????????????



you know what

Mortimer 01-20-2008 12:30 PM
Oh.


I take it back.

Hickory Hill Hoff 01-20-2008 12:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mortimer
Oh.


I take it back.

Thank you :)





ok, how bout bright colored clothing and "midget" car

Mortimer 01-20-2008 12:35 PM
Welcome.





And that stuff doesn't work.

Subliminal messages in conversation,however,do.

Hickory Hill Hoff 01-20-2008 12:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mortimer
Welcome.





And that stuff doesn't work.

Subliminal messages in conversation,however,do.

Like a train going through a tunnel??? right :confused:

Mortimer 01-20-2008 12:37 PM
Oh no....very unsophisticated.




Some of those will be included in my next TFP package.

Hickory Hill Hoff 01-20-2008 12:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mortimer
Oh no....very unsophisticated.




Some of those will be included in my next TFP package.

Too Freudian like

TheSpyder 01-20-2008 12:55 PM
It didn't work, it made me sneeze and I made a mess.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mortimer
When taking a new date to your destination in your car.....and you know you need to make a good first impression so that you may fornicate with her later in the evening......in the night....when it's dark.......





....ask her to touch your nose.




Have your thumb on the horn so when she touches your nose the horn will honk in a simultaneous fashion.

She will think you are very creative and highly amusing.....you're 3/4 of the way there after that one.

Mortimer 01-20-2008 12:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSpyder
It didn't work, it made me sneeze and I made a mess.
Well at least you didn't tell her to touch your pud.

Mortimer 01-20-2008 01:28 PM
Of course it goes without saying...always make sure the tp is frosted.

NoChanceToDance 01-20-2008 03:31 PM
Morty, we are all waiting for the next stage.


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