It's early, but please post your nominations for.....
 

Thread of the Year and Post of the Year.

The winner(s) will receive fab prizes such as a poem penned by Morte (okay so it'll be a plagiarized version of one already in existence, but it's the thought and all...), a special surprise photo tribute by Mr. P. Pants, Esquire, the chance to win our grand prize..... your name AND likeness on A Lost Texan's license (sorry kids, the plate was already taken), as well as many wonderful and yet-to-be determined prizes.

Any and all suggestions welcome (including Iceland-related).....

Who wants to go first?

For best post, within the same thread, from Mortimer:

It was nickle perogi night at The CheapWhiskeyDancer Bar....it was in mid summer around 7 years ago.


Oh it wasn't the nickle perogis that attracted me. ...I hate those vulcanized obsceneties anyway.


I was there to see the first Eskeemo cheap whiskey dancer. It was fabled her legs didn't even hint of stopping at her dupa and she could slam down 3 doubles after every dance as if they contained pinneappple juice and not FrankyFiveAngels Rye.

I came late...and they knew me there from my last visit when I cleaned out 17 Swedish military assault members and stuck their knives where cheese isn't made.

The bar was full.....and I love sitting at the bar.


I picked the toughest looking one to make sure there would be a message for all to enjoy.


I told him......" You're sitting in my seat."





He didn't like it.



Not the seat....what I said.






He replied.." Well I don't see yer stinkin' name on it."


I knew he didn't know me from the last time.



So I says......." No ..it ain't on my seat...it's on this....and my name is Colt .44." I pulled back my coat displaying a holstered Dirty Harry model." His eyes bugged



I smashed him over the head with a full bottle of OldGrandDad....as he slumped I picked him up and flung him about 20 feet across the bar.


I looked at all the dumbfounded retches and shrieked..."Anyone else wanna piece a me??"












They weren't interested.

Someone should know my palgiarized poems are covered by copyright law.

9:1








!!!!OOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Betrayal to the right of him..... :D

http://www.derbytrail.com/forums/sho...=17917&page=12

If it helps, I liked your versions better.

Wow, gret minds think alike...just posted the same thing in other section. I guess someone will move it.

Spyder

OH!!...GOOD ONE!






And it does.

Glad someone appreciates fine work.

HOSSY... !!!!OOOOOOOOOO!!!!


SPYDAH...... !!!!OOOOOOOOOO!!!!








Don't be shy posters......there's plenty more where those came from.

I believe the contest is over before it really began.

Hard to top a drunken idiot, Dairy Queen stories, and Morty's storytelling.

A classic to be sure.

Though, there has got to be some bat$hit crazy Grits thread that may well rank near the top too, upon further review.

arljim, pp, and hi i'm god had some great replies in that thread as well, but Morty's definitely took the cake.

the one where Happy Ticket is getting nailed by Distorted Humor. we need more of that. :)

I am not permitted in the smart threads,but my vote for POY is this gem by GroovesInsideMyHead:






Hey Andy...will you do any BC analysis on your horse racing analysis show this BC week?

I'll have to think more regarding TOY.

Im crying from laughing so hard....

The story by Morton was indeed a classic.

I did not laugh out loud, but I did smack my lizard on the back and killed it.
I laughed one of those laughs in which nothing came out, and I lost a significant amount of oxygen.
It burned my ample abdominal muscles, and the expired lizard did not help matters I-ther.

I'm sorry.....nominatons are limited to posts dated 12-12-07 or earlier.

Is the 'Mrs. Bababooee' family turmoil thread a viable nominee?

Oooooooooooooh, that was a good one too.

The entertainment value here has been priceless this past year....Shirely, Morty with all his fine work has to get poster of the year...KRIM & PG85 belong on the list for dishonourable mention.

Should I recieve this treasured award as POY..I will carry it with pride in posting; realizing what an honor it is and how I must carry this honor.

I would do so with great appreciation as well as adoration for all who felt me deserving so as to cast their fine and very well respected vote for me.

I would feel so blessed that I would make sure each and everyone wonderful person who did vote for me would receive 25 large ...at some point.






But I won't share it with Shirley....I just won't do that.

Damn you. :p

I missed that one! Was it really good?

If you missed it...obviously it was.

The ridiculous John Henry popularity contest thread in the Paddock has the potential to be a deep closer if the race falls apart down the stretch.

There are a number of award categories that are all locked up....
Thebby is sure to get Ms. Congeniality
...

more to follow

I'm stifling a large snarf that wants to come out.


Very hard.

Tease.

Is that the one where you talked about your pet parrot?

Wanton.

Would it not be ironic should this thread itself wind up as thread of the year?




And perhaps the post of the year be hidden deep in it's catacombs?

I hope so.

Another offering for POY:






"I missed that one! Was it really good?"

Mmm.. wontons....

Never mind; I found the thread. I'm not sure if I'd nominate it or the sequel, though.

Aw, shucks! That's so sweet! "First, I'd like to thank God. Then, I'd like to thank all the little people who helped me get this award..."

and don't call me Shirley

Just give me your mailing address and I'll mail you your POY award. (not a fake one like Pillow Pants gives out)

nice.

i was going to stop war and end hunger but then i got to thinking how much you'd appreciate the nomination for an imaginary award. and i was right.

it was totally worth it.

this one goes on the mantle.

then i start killing all the dwarfs and midgets.

for i am a jealous god.