The Vegas Trip (Timeline included)
 

Thursday 5am(CST): Limo arrives at my residence, I get into the limo with an "Uncle Ricco" type mustache(I never have facial hair) that I have been working on for 6 weeks.....One of my friends about three months ago mentioned that we should all go to Vegas with mustaches, but it was never talked about again, until I got into the Limo with my Vegasstache

Thursday 7am(PST): Talking to friend on plane and tells me that he shaves his balls with a facial razor, I respond with Bull****, only to have him whip his essentials out, I refused to look

Thursday 8:45am(PST): Land in Vegas, take insane truck limo to our hotel, feel like ballers

Thursday 9:00am(PST): I sprint to sportsbook to try and bet Singh, Immellmen, and Clark per GPK's idea, get real pissed when can not wager because golf already off....Play first two races at River Downs with no luck. Play $50 four team parlay with four baseball teams

Thursday 11:00am(PST): Get into Bally's $50 NL Holdem tourney, last 15 minutes after my two pair gets blown out of the water with a straight that I didn't see on the board, poor play on my end...Go to sportsbook to watch baseball

Thursday 11:30am(PST): Baseball gets boring, go to Blackjack table....

Thursday 2:30pm(PST): Down to my last $200 on me, make an $600 run in two hours to get back to only down $200 for trip(+100 on BJ).

Thursday 4:30pm(PST): All three rooms finally ready, thought we only had two rooms, ABSOLUTELY amazing and while the view was bootleg, the living space for 8 guys was perfect, everyone happy with Scav's doings

Thursday 7:00pm(PST): NAIL a race at Maywood(nothing to wager on Thursday because of July 4th) $20WP on a 14/1, LOVE DALE HITEMAN, go to blackjack table

Friday 12:00am(PST): On unreal run at the blackjack table, playing $50 a hand, BREAK my record for consumption of my Vegas drink (Tom Collins), 34 in 12 hours, watch end of A's/Angels, need Angels to win game to hit 4 team parlay for $500, see Big Hurt destory that dream, NOT PISSED because of the fire on blackjack table...Meet Canadian and Korean friends that have been playing with me for 5 hours,

Friday 2:00am(PST): Get picked up by two girls after talking about wanting to learn how to play craps, they say they would teach, sounded like good idea(decision was most likely made because of alcohol). Go to Flamingo and play craps. I keep dice for 30 minutes on a $10 table, point was 8 and hit the hard eight that my friend and I played for $10, VERY EXCITED...Trying to make headway with girl on right, ultimate ****block happens, her father comes and says hi to her

Friday 6am(PST): Walk back from Flamingo and go up to room with $1800 after unreal run(+$200 from craps, rest from blackjack at Ballys), hammered as can be, FEELING THE RUSH and can't sleep because of that rush, rest eyes for a couple hours, approx 2 hours of sleep

Friday 9am(PST): Everyone goes to pool, two friends haven't slept yet, get all lathered up in suntan lotion because I have fair skin, don't feel like drinking, bring DRF Belmont/Calder out to pool for serious handicapping, find out friend gets working girl arrested after he picked her up outside, walking through Ballys, security stops them, talks to friend and he doesn't respond, incoherent, he remembers seeing her get taken into another room, gets escorted to room

Friday 11am(PST): I get headache from sun(yeah right, wonder if the night before had anything to do with it) and go back to room to wash off retarded suntan oil that friend brought, felt like a whale or dolphin

Friday 12pm(PST): Take $500 to Sportsbook, stop off at blackjack table, 15 minutes up another $200...Take that $200 up to room so have $1500 in room, and $500 on me for horses

Friday 12:15(PST): Realize they have College Basketball odds for next year's tourney, take $100 and put $50 on Kansas, $30 on Georgetown and $20 on Louisville. Louisville wager is because I am gay for Rick Pitino

Friday 1st race at Churchill: Get shut out of of 2 horse because friend was yapping to me, horse wins for fun(knew heavy chalk was a hanger), STARTED THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL

Friday 1pm(PST): Get in verbal confrontation with waitress as she wouldn't serve me, I talk to Sportsbook manager "I have wagered close to 1k in 2 hours, you have even taken some of these wagers, the waitress won't serve me a COKE because I am in the SPORTS Area of the seating" I go to bar where two hours before received free drink while waitress was up there and ask for Coke, take a $10 out of pocket as to tip bartender for not being a ******, make sure she sees $10 bill, bartender tells me $2.50..."how about this, you take that coke and pour it out and here is your tip (taking a penny out of pocket)" Right now I am fuming, ready to throw chairs and just go nuts on everyone. Get nosed on a 10/1 horse fuels the fire, sportsbook manager is cool with me though

Friday 3pm(PST): I get the idea that all the stupid bitch had to say was to move a row and she could have served me, I go to sportsbook manager and ask him this and he is like "yeah, you are right" I go "So this all could have been avoided if the stupid bitch would have told me to move ONE ROW DOWN" "Sir, that is correct, please don't call her a bitch though" EVEN HOTTER NOW and flicking her off, vowed REVENGE

Friday 4pm(PST): Sbarro's pizza, HUGE FAN, along with the Johnny's sandwich place next door, SO AWESOME, more to come about Johnny's

Friday 6pm(PST): Go back to Blackjack table with $500 from room, $1k still up stairs, ....Sportsbook bitch is serving blackjack area where I was playing, she asks if I want drink, respond "NO"...I tell dealer what happen, tell him I am going to do something comedy the next time she comes back, she comes back, "Here is a $25 tip for my dealer"...I look at her with a SMILE like "GFY you stupid bitch", Lose $250 in 45 minutes

Friday 7pm(PST): VERY Salty after dropping $750 so far, go to play Hollywood/Los Al with rest of $250, nothing clicking, watching baseball for parlays....

Friday 10pm(PST): Blow that $250 on comedy horses at Hollywood, crap cards around, go back to room and grab $500 for Blackjack for night

Friday 11:15pm(PST): Make run to get that $500 up to $1200, loving life.....

Continued, only allowed 10k in letters
 

Saturday 12:45am(PST): Dealer makes 21 THIRTEEN TIMES IN A ROW with comedy cards showing, drop that $1200 in those 13 hands. WAS BRUTAL...Go back to room for final $500, say only going to spend $200 of it but should keep the other $300 on me just in case of needed Double down

Saturday 4:00am(PST): Go back to room, pockets EMPTY, hammered again, tell some friends about unreal luck, they laugh..Go to sleep, get wokin up in 3 hours after friends are out of control

Saturday 9:00am(PST): Hit friend up for $300, put $100 on blackjack, lose $100 in 5 hands and dealer laughs at me, tell him "GFY" and go to sportsbook for Arlington

Saturday 1:00pm(PST): Haven't hit a single thing, decide its time to eat FOURTH Philly Cheesesteak from Johnny's across way, AWESOME sandwitch, ate 8 of them total on trip

Saturday 4:00pm(PST): Go take leak at bathroom, walking back to sportsbook and I see pre-UFC brawl between two friends, don't know what happen, other friends just standing there watching, "HEY, KNOCK IT OFF", grab friend and put into full nelson, direct the other friend to go upstairs, get the details, sportsbook manager comes up to me 10 minutes later, tell him things are fine...Friend was protecting himself from other friend, other friend is hammered and a diabetic, disorientated and picking fights with all friends, including the one HUGE friend that likes to throw down, leave diabetic friend in room to do insulin, tell him to do his insulin and to go to sleep(he had been up for 26 hours and drinking vodka cranberry)...Diabetic friend come back in 20 minutes, blood on face, try reasoning with him to go upstairs and relax knowing he would pass out, won't listen to anyone. I ask sportsbook manager to call security because that would "scare" him...He tells security to "GFY" in full words, security puts him on room arrest for 24 hours. Friend finally passed out...talking to sportsbook manager, I tell him how flight isn't until Monday at Midnight, ask him if he can get our checkout until 3pm on Sunday, he says no problem

Saturday 7pm(PST): Getting ready for strip club, trying to be quiet so friend doesn't wake up, friend wakes up right before we leave, all sprint out of room to avoid him

Saturday 7:30pm-10pm(PST): hit friend up for another $200 for strip club, Get taken advantage of from Cheetah's Bus driver as he tells us it is $20 to get in, plus tip for him, find out it is only $10 to get in, guy juiced us...negiotated VIP area for $100 to bouncer and guaranteed $100 bar tab, bouncer agree, GIRLS FLOCK to the ballers in the VIP area. Ask every stripper "Mustache or no mustache" keep running tab of votes, no mustache was an open length winner. I get private dance and girl lets me grab EVERYTHING, big fan of this, bouncer comes by and I ask why he did that, girl responds "Want to make sure I wasn't giving you something" I respond "OH MAN" More conversation there that can't be discussed as too long, $118 bar tab, give girl $150, I am blitzed again because took boob shots of jaeger(?), didn't know they were jaeger(?)

Saturday 10:30pm: Get back to Casino with $20 in pocket, don't leave until Monday at Midnight, need something to keep busy. Go watch friend play blackjack and continue to get free drinks, unbelievably hammered

Sunday 1:30am: Best part of trip as most comedy, UNBELIEVABLE SMOKING GIRL walks by, she was working...I follow and beat outside, the whole smile back and forth ordeal, I'm teasing her, she starts to talk, before confronting, put wallet in front pocket to imply a wad, see her look at pocket where I had my wallet, smile comes...Conversation on-going, I ask what the deal is, she tells me "3" as in $300...I knew that was the number so I had the best line of all time planned "According to my math, that is $10 per minute on a half hour session, can I get 2 minutes please, that is all I need" She looks at me and was all pissed off she wasted 5 minutes of conversation, WAS SO COMEDY as I couldn't stop laughing, tell friends, finally get them to believe me that I did that....SO GREAT

Sunday 4am: Go back to room to finally get some sleep

Sunday 8am: Get wokin up because friend was leaving, can't fall back alsleep because another friend takes place in bed, talking about how much money he won

Sunday Noon: Go up to room to lie down, pissed and tired is not good combo....

Sunday 2pm: Find out that Immelmen is making run, on top, GETTING PISSED because that is $900 I would have had if plane was faster...Can't wait to get home

Sunday 3:01pm: Housekeeping is knocking on door, tells us we were just checked out (LIKE HAWKS I TELL YOU)

Sunday 3pm to 8pm: Walk back and forth from tables and sportsbook, thinking about how good my bed is going to be and how much this SUCKS

Sunday 8pm: Finally go to airport

Monday Midnight: Get on plane, take Xanax and try to pass out, friend get in verbal confrontation about having the window seat, all friends know that I like the window seats because I like to look outside, he wants it to sleep, REALLY pissed at him because of his selfishness

Monday 5am: Touch down at O'Hare, EXCITED about bed, get home at 5:30am, pass out until 11am....

All in all, a great time obviously because of all the comediness. My friend who always fronts alot of cash and used his card to pay for the room got smoked for 3k at the tables, so I asked everyone to put their players rewards to the room, I had $80 in comps, alot considering one of my friend only had $10, ended up with getting close to $200 off the room between like 5 players(2 of the guys aren't crazy gamblers)....I talked to sportsbook manager on Saturday afternoon and I got the lowdown on my wagering activity. Wagered close to 4k, was positive $200 on horses, negative $300 on sports, and he told me I lost a total of 1k on blackjack...Played blackjack for a total of 26 hours, at an average of $48 a hand...Still tired from events.

Part 1 was classic! Got to read part 2 when I get home. I can already tell we need to party!

my favorite thread of the year, possibly century

Forgot to add that two of my friends got kicked out of the Ballys Pool for doing cannonballs from the lifeguard stand, they did it once and only got warned, got booted the 2nd time.....

Great stuff Scavs. Glad you won a little money and got some loving too. Now with all that money you can come to Toga.

Movie theme
 

It sounds like a cross between Swingers and Bachelor Party.

didn't win, got smoked Tim, I had my roll up to 2k but it went bye bye....

The screenplay looks good but needs to be tweaked.
Might help with a bit more "flesh" and less losing.
Definitely a movie, but not a "chick flick".

She says: "Honey, do you want to go see a movie tonight?"
He says: "What did you have in mind?"
She says: "All my girlfriends are telling me to see...blah, blah blah"
He says: We either go to see "Scavs on the Grill" or we see nothin'. It's a dick flick. You coming or not?

Scavs this is hysterical.

This is definitely the best post I ever read anywhere. What makes it so great is that I believe every word of it.

I guess what happens in vegas, doesn't necessarily stay there! Good stuff, Scavs.. My trips there haven't been nearly as "intoxicating,"... or fun!!

Scav,
Why the hell was having a window seat "to look outside" an issue on a Midnight flght? Just what were you going to see? Great story.

Just the fact that EVERY SINGLE FRIEND knows I want the window seat and I was hoping to finally sleep comfortably for more then 3 hours...instead I was sitting bitch with an IPOD that had little juice left

thats my boy scavs livin it..thats how you roll...lmfao..

I hear you. Sitting bitch ain't no fun. Probably before your time, but there's an old Twilght Zone episode about a guy sitting in a window seat who sees a gremlin on the wing of the plane during a thunderstorm. Pre- Star Trek William Shatner. Worthy comedy.

this thread is now, without question, my favorite thread ever from any message board. why? cause I can relate and like Mike said I agree I believe EVERY SINGLE word.

Scavs, you're telling me the 300 dollar girl didn't come back to the room? You tried to talk her down and you couldn't right? LOL

If I would have had the 2k I had early she would have been worth $600, the hottest working girl I have ever seen, it was worth the comediness just talking to her.....SMOKIN hot

yeah, he only wanted 2 minutes and she wasn't down with that.
i love it!

LOL. Vegas will find a way to take your money....eventually.

would you have even lasted 2 minutes????

only wanted two minutes because that was all I could afford, If I had $300 on me, in my state of mind, we couldn't have gotten to the room fast enough....

$10 a minute...honey, I only need two.
Classic!!!
Wish I coulda been there to see the look on her face.
LOL!

Probably not because after the strip club I was like Giants Causeway, ready to rock EVERYTHING.....

Scavs, that was the most comedy thing I have read. By far the greatest post ever on DT. Write that down and publish it with a list of your other gambling jaunts and you'd be rich.

scav - you didn't make to hollywood for the gold cup in between all of this insanity?????

Nah, was considering it hard core, glad I didn't though, while the races ended up good, 9 horses in two graded races....I am also not the greatest manager of money so I could have easily had a plane flight and went all the way there with $10 and a return ticket...

Also, if I would have went, we probably would have been looking for a hotel to stay at as I broke up that fistacuffs in the sportsbook that day.....and if security would have seen the fight, both of them would have been kicked out of the hotel for the year I guess, according to Harrah's rules or something

all in all scavs great story - where will your bachelor party be?????

I have no idea, I was at dinner last night kinda recapping all the comediness and he is like "So we are going out there for when you are getting married" and I was like "Need to find a girl that will put up with me first"....That being said, if I ever have a bachelor party, might as well rent out a casino because all will be invited and we will just THROW down some 30 hour session of hardcoreness

Nice trip Scav. Totally comedy!!!

Hey it sounds like we now have a ""Host"" for the next Vegas trip..
My only Question is... what sucks more.. being drunk and winning money or
being waisted and losing money and Not caring ? LOL Nice read !

A mere movie wouldn't do it justice. Needs to a TV series. Probably have to be on HBO. Funniest thing I've read in a long time. I've been going to Vegas since 1988. Sometimes 2 and 3 times a year, but I thing you had more fun in this one trip than I had in the total of my trips and I always thought that I had fun.

It was most definetely a good time, no sleep though and paying for it now, my system probably won't be back to normal until Monday of next week.....

Scavs- I am one of those sticklers to routines. Even when I go to Vegas I stick to my routine of getting up early, going to bed early and working out. At 35, one night of drinking and staying up late throws me off for 2-3 days. To me its just not worth it. I'd rather feel good.

To me the best part of Vegas is laying by the pool and reading the DRF.