What Mortimer Did For Me
 

It appears that I might be late to his going away party, but I wanted to pay tribute nonetheless. This is, of course, completely original work.

The retirement of internet horsey board heroes always marks a milestone of some kind for lurkers and HOs alike. Whether the poster in question grabbed the admirer with flashy good looks or with pleasurable recall of posts gone by, the end of a career invariably produces a flood of memories or mental snapshots of particular posts.

The end of Mortimer’s posting career especially resonates given what has transpired in my own horsey board-related life since the start of his brilliant run. On a snowy Saturday morning in the Unsnowy Woods in March 2007, I joined a horsey board called "The Nerdy Trail" with the Thistleydowns meet set to spring into high gear.

Right off the bat, I devoured dozens of mortimerdexterfoxworthy posts, with each reading only serving to fuel greater passion and devotion to a poster that seemed to suit my personality and peccadilloes perfectly.

I was certain that my chance to achieve anything as a horsey board participant had long since passed me by. But with the advent of Nerdy Trail, interpreting unfolding horsey board dramas felt like a great way to retrieve the enjoyment I had experienced in Junior High.

While my initial posts were modest and missed their mark, a feature written by mortimerdexterfoxworthy would ultimately change my entire life. “Well Now" was posted after a quiet weekend in racing with little to offer the many members that could not hear the music. mortimerdexterfoxworthy had been posting steadily, and there were several things about him that caught my admitted neophyte eye.

The thought that mortimerdexterfoxworthy could win the war against TrueSwine or be successful in the troika of sophomore classic posts (“This is Me”, “This is This,” “This is this and Me”), came with a concern that I could very well be hopelessly wrong.

His performance in “Petition to let Morty back in the other rooms” was heartening as he demonstrated an uncommon gameness re-rallying at the end of the thread after appearing finished setting the pace through 500 posts.

Without a laptop, keeping track of all of Mortimer’s doings was a challenge. After working all day, I would walk uphill both ways to my mother’s basement (to hide from the sun and other posters) and use a dial up connection to read Mortimer’s posts. One of my last assessments was an analysis of Mortimer addressing his potential based on pedigree, style and value:

"The hero in these quarters for months, Mortimer seems on the verge of harnessing his headstrong nature at precisely the right moment. As long as the moderators remain sensible, Mortimer can be in prominent view in every Nerdy Trail room. We expect a bored finish at worst, and a history maker at best."

I read “Saratoga Urinal” in my mom’s basement (as usual). The thread unfolded thrillingly, and when they reached the top of page 10, Mortimer had every chance to win. By the time they started threatening lawsuits, the tears had started to well in my eyes.

Aside from many vaporizings, something much more meaningful came in for me with Mortimer that day. I realized with each step "The Predator" took down the Nerdy Trail, that I had found something I thought was lost long ago for myself and my future. His win validated my hope that I might still find a niche in horsey boards through a man that rewards confidence in one's own opinion about TrueSwine like few others can.

Mortimer’s success changed the lives of Hossy, Thebby and UnclyTrust; the fortunes of HOs everywhere; and countless fans of Mortimer. And given the wondrous things that have happened for me during the breadth of his career, inexorably, my own. For that, my appreciation of Mortimer will never wane.

;)

Crinkle



Trash Can

Bravo! Bravo!

Thank you so much, Sighty

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

that is some seriously funny sh*t....you sir have reached new heights in internet posting! Well done.

THEBBY!!

Too kind - I appreciate your internet praise very much.

And I greatly respect your posting prowess as well.

Fucl< off, HO-ssy.

You are ded to me as well.

I read through the selections room. That Maryfield head bob cost me the late Pick 3, Pick 4 and my win bet on BaronessThatcher.
















;) (I kid, of course, and am behooved as always.):D

I laughed.














Fine work Late Fires.















000000000000000

Behooved, Abominable DrugS

I must say that I admire your racing knowledge as well as your fine collection of HO pictures, and hope to see more of both on display in the future.

Rip Mdf Ily

I haven't been on much lately due to work and I obviously missed alot (regretfully the Saratoga Urinal Thread). I will miss you my friend.:)

Well I did not realize the impact was so massive.

I dont know whether to vomit or have a panic attack.

The creativity shown by the board is quite obvious.
You got Pillow who is just flat out anry, firing off some
extraordinarily witty images to counter words. You
got DrugS, God, the Indian who cleary are thoughtful
who I guess I might describe as some of Morton's "clan".

Perplexed is what I am. Guess its like opera. I understand
it, but the presentation ruins the story. Same with this
phenomena called Morton. The thoughtful horde would
transform to a spineless mass. And the initially soft
basically decayed and started to smell.

I could be entirely wrong.

but i dont think so...

Hossy, do you think he has lost his mind?

woah nellie. i'm neither thoughtful or part of any clan.

one can appreciate another person without being in their 'clan' you know.

i am also fully cognizant of nietzche's writings on group mentality and tend to stay away from such things.

morty happens to be a pretty funny dude who's pretty good at getting under people's skin, especially those with a thin skin that have little to no sense of humor.

maybe you should ask yourself why you let morty get to you. and the rest of his clan as well, i suppose!

I know you aren't talking to me. I'm in the Wu-tang Clan, son..and we ain't nothin to f uck with.

I thought he was funny many times.
But went way too far.
He played the antagonist for
cowards of gossip.
And he genuinely tried to
to be hurtful on occasion.
He knows this.

I realize I have fun playing on
the other side. But I get no pleasure
out of pitting people against each
other. Some obviously are attracted to
this form of communication.

Ahhh but I'm way too serious.

The Asian girls you posted for me
was absolutely classic.

But man you can get pis sed off me boy.

The prosecution rests their case.

Will you please explain why you
are typing in a certain manner?
I feel as if you have been kidnapped
by a fellow forumer....

Easier to read.

Sentences followed by other sentences drawn along seem to be difficult for me (so I might have wrongly assumed others) to read on my screen. 5 or 6 words, as opposed to 11 -15 words per line on a computer screen, appears much easier to get through. My little problem most likely. I went back to read some other posts about Cigar and found it hard to follow the lines that contained a large number of words. Started skipping some good stuff. The I put a blank line in between some of the pieces of a post and it seemed even easier to read. So I thought it might be easier on the eyes of others. Maybe I just need to change some settings on my own computer.

I certainly agree that the paragraph would do wonders for some of the longer posts, but whenever I read something that has been artificially shortened it makes me insert a period in my reading long before I should.

Of course I never enjoyed the Haiku because I too, enjoy the run on sentence. :D

I think you may be onto something with your hypothesis.

Judge.
The prosecution wishes that
the above be added to the
record under the exhibits containing
the mentally challenged turned putrid.

All in good fun, meant absolutely no
harm by it.

Arrrrrr!! It's because ye' took me gin, laddy. I hope ye' get scurvy!!

i am also fully cognizant of nietzche's writings on group mentality and tend to stay away from such things

Wise.
But this mentality gives insecure individuals
the security that they need to
feel like they function individually.

So are you saying what's going on here is...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbvP7dT3Dx0

Yes. Sort of........
Hoos would believe me to be the good looking girl in the yellow.

OMG IS THAT BAD.

The original is bad enough...
but they squared the bad
in India.

I have completely lost respect
for that country. Lord that is
so bad... Gonna show this to
my daugher. She will have to
change her underwear after the
viewing Im quite sure.

CPR may be in order to quell
the laughter. My wife will have
that task.

Well if that doesn't kill them, this will..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bAN7Ts0xBo

OK.
Ya probably wont believe this.
I played that for my classes before
U-tube became "illegal".

And yes indeed we did dance.

Doot, Doot,
uhn
Doot, Doot,
uhn
Doot, Doot,
uhn

DA DA DA

damn fine dancing music.

getta downa, getta funkya - Lawrence Welk

or perhaps it gives those who dont like the group mentality a way to avoid the group mentality?

do you teach psych, or physics? they kinda have similiar spellings, so i want to make sure.

i'm not sure exactly what girly men have to do with this, but if you want the subtitled version of that brilliant video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtJRN...elated&search=

Hello.

My name is Alan Speegish....great American novelist...prose aand poetry writer...biographer..and antagonist of the antiChrist...Christopher Hitchens.

As you know..my good friend and yours has died.I knew hm well and have observed his fine work for many years.Who would have thought this great intellectual was born in poverty in an old log cabin inthe backwoods of Macon,Ga.


Abdandon at the young age of 4 months..Mortimer was raised by a pack of vicious wolves . This is where he received his predatorial training. This is wherehe learned how to paint with colored feldspar.This is where he was ripped off by the Allman Brothers Band.And this is where he met a strange creature by the name of PeeGarden;another human abandonded.

PeeGarden,however ,was raised by TreeMonsters.


Hewent on to become the incredbily insane whacko..Paul Schaeffer..who hasbeen making a literal fool of himself on David Letterman for years now.


But let me go back to the part where Motimer learned to write andplay fine music as taught to him by famed forest creature and bluesman....SmokeyBear.

Mortimer pened and played all the instruments as well as color feldspared a series of beautiful outdoor drawrings done in synchopation to the wonderful instrumental he called ..Thebbetica.

The filthy swine ABB very bad men stole it all from him and retitledthe fine work Jessica.


If I may...I would like to share this with you as a requiem mass sort of thing.




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVVJ7CA1JJE







I am honored to have known him.







Don't forget to buy my fine new book....HO CHI MIN: A Sampler of Fast Working Chicago HO's




Alan Speegish

Hello Alan!

That's one of my favorite books! Did you write the book by using first hand knowledge, or did you gather your information by interviewing the locals?

I think they should make this book mandatory reading for all teachers.

F = ma stuff.

Definitely dont like group mauling of
what appear to be easy or convenient prey.
Uneasy feeling when the home team that
I happen to root for starts cheering when
the underepresented opposition has a player
go down etc...

Giant gatherings with the group all chanting
in unison is a powerful sort of addicting scary
at the same time kinda thing.

Nazi sort of momentum that builds,
and then add the God is on our side
to the mix... it gets more thana bit
frightening.

This in no way should be compared to
a silly board but it does, I admit, expose
my willingness to be manipulated to
take what may be deemed an unpopular
stance. Even if I dont really have an
an opinion either way to begin with.

"That which does not kill you makes you stronger"


:eek:




Wait...there lurks a predator!!

my gosh


jessica is a true art form


alan speegish

you are a doll.


i meant my I doll.