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-   -   Why Get Married? (http://www.derbytrail.com/forums/showthread.php?t=10764)

randallscott35 03-12-2007 09:24 AM

Why Get Married?
 
I had this conversation with someone this weekend and I really don't know why anyone gets married anymore....The only logical reason to get married is to have a kid--and its not like you have to do that....But otherwise, I can't see any sense in getting hitched.

dellinger63 03-12-2007 09:33 AM

In my case so I would appreciate single life following my divorce.

Cajungator26 03-12-2007 09:47 AM

Good question...

That's one that I should have asked myself before I got married. It would have saved me a ton of grief... divorces stink.

Antitrust32 03-12-2007 10:05 AM

Cajun and I had this exact conversation this weekend.

I believe marriage is the most overrated "thing" out there. Why not just be a "couple" and when you break up... (which is bound to always happen IMO), you can keep your whole.. not just half.

Marriage doesnt mean much anymore is this day of divorce. People get married and divorced so often they should just stay "bf/gf" and just break up!

I dont even think it is neccessary for reproduction. Mommy can just get her last name changed.. so the whole family has the same name.

marriage is meaningless anymore cause people just break up anyway. also, it just gives the government more power to get into your business!

Seattleallstar 03-12-2007 10:31 AM

a marriage is meaningless to the people that make it meaningless. Marriage is an affirmation and commitment you make to another to share a life

GenuineRisk 03-12-2007 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by randallscott35
I had this conversation with someone this weekend and I really don't know why anyone gets married anymore....The only logical reason to get married is to have a kid--and its not like you have to do that....But otherwise, I can't see any sense in getting hitched.

Remind me to print out this thread and bring it to your wedding. ;)

Antitrust32 03-12-2007 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seattleallstar
a marriage is meaningless to the people that make it meaningless. Marriage is an affirmation and commitment you make to another to share a life

you are right, it just bewilders me how many people make the commitment meaningless. but than again, according to law I will never be allowed to get married so I guess i should just have no opinion.

Cajungator26 03-12-2007 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Antitrust32
you are right, it just bewilders me how many people make the commitment meaningless. but than again, according to law I will never be allowed to get married so I guess i should just have no opinion.

That will change, eventually.

I honestly believe that a couple can be just as committed to one another without saying "I do." I can't promise that I'll never get married again, but in today's society, a marriage does seem to be destined for failure. It's always nice to hear of those who DO make it through, but the reality is that most people can't seem to accept change in their partner. Changing is something we all do and if we're supposed to be committed to one another, then we need to stay that way even during the rough times. We're just too lazy of a society as a whole to do that... sad.

Seattleallstar 03-12-2007 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cajungator26
That will change, eventually.

I honestly believe that a couple can be just as committed to one another without saying "I do." I can't promise that I'll never get married again, but in today's society, a marriage does seem to be destined for failure. It's always nice to hear of those who DO make it through, but the reality is that most people can't seem to accept change in their partner. Changing is something we all do and if we're supposed to be committed to one another, then we need to stay that way even during the rough times. We're just too lazy of a society as a whole to do that... sad.


i'll marry you baby

Antitrust32 03-12-2007 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cajungator26
That will change, eventually.

I honestly believe that a couple can be just as committed to one another without saying "I do." I can't promise that I'll never get married again, but in today's society, a marriage does seem to be destined for failure. It's always nice to hear of those who DO make it through, but the reality is that most people can't seem to accept change in their partner. Changing is something we all do and if we're supposed to be committed to one another, then we need to stay that way even during the rough times. We're just too lazy of a society as a whole to do that... sad.

agreed

Seattleallstar 03-12-2007 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Antitrust32
you are right, it just bewilders me how many people make the commitment meaningless. but than again, according to law I will never be allowed to get married so I guess i should just have no opinion.

the law will eventually change

paisjpq 03-12-2007 10:57 AM

my boss and his wife have been married for 62 years...and they still love each other desperately. unless I can have that then i don't want any of it...

Coach Pants 03-12-2007 11:06 AM

This thread smells like a bull ring that hasn't been cleaned for years.

Cajungator26 03-12-2007 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paisjpq
my boss and his wife have been married for 62 years...and they still love each other desperately. unless I can have that then i don't want any of it...

Agreed, Beth.

Cajungator26 03-12-2007 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seattleallstar
i'll marry you baby

I have one child already... :p

brianwspencer 03-12-2007 11:29 AM

I agree. I don't really care to get married, I just want the legal protections that go with it.

Call it a sandwich, just give me the damn things and let's be done with it.

edit: I don't worry about it too much, because it will happen before I die.

ddthetide 03-12-2007 11:45 AM

maybe you'll have a different view when you get older?

i'm divorced twice. the first time i married just as i turned 22, was divorced by the time i was 25. a couple years had gone by and i figured out we split up over something that could have been worked out. basically i drew a line in the sand and she crossed so i called it quits.

the second we were together 7 years total and married the last 2. she was a "funcationing alcoholic", meaning she got up and went to work everyday. i knew she drank and propably to much but had NO Idea she drank ALL Day ! from the time she got up until she went to bed and started over the next day.
one day she dropped over and had a seizure. Doctors explained it from the alcohol, thats how i found out how much she drank.
she dryed out and things were good, until she figured i wasn't good enough anymore. thats was pretty crushing to me.

i was single for 8 years and dated very little, worked a Whole lot. i was re-introduced to my current wife by some friends. we'd not seen each other in about 10 years and she had divorced also.
we've been together for 6 years now and married for 1 year april 10.
i've enjoyed the last 6 years more than any in my adult life and look forward to MANY, MANY more!

i tell this because maybe it just takes some of us to get older or some experience to figure out how it's supposed to work.

sorry for being sappy. thought maybe you'd like a different side of it.:o

Cajungator26 03-12-2007 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ddthetide
maybe you'll have a different view when you get older?

i'm divorced twice. the first time i married just as i turned 22, was divorced by the time i was 25. a couple years had gone by and i figured out we split up over something that could have been worked out. basically i drew a line in the sand and she crossed so i called it quits.

the second we were together 7 years total and married the last 2. she was a "funcationing alcoholic", meaning she got up and went to work everyday. i knew she drank and propably to much but had NO Idea she drank ALL Day ! from the time she got up until she went to bed and started over the next day.
one day she dropped over and had a seizure. Doctors explained it from the alcohol, thats how i found out how much she drank.
she dryed out and things were good, until she figured i wasn't good enough anymore. thats was pretty crushing to me.

i was single for 8 years and dated very little, worked a Whole lot. i was re-introduced to my current wife by some friends. we'd not seen each other in about 10 years and she had divorced also.
we've been together for 6 years now and married for 1 year april 10.
i've enjoyed the last 6 years more than any in my adult life and look forward to MANY, MANY more!

i tell this because maybe it just takes some of us to get older or some experience to figure out how it's supposed to work.

sorry for being sappy. thought maybe you'd like a different side of it.:o

Thanks for this post. I hope that someday I'll meet my life partner too, but in the meantime, I just have to enjoy life for what it is. I've found that when you look too hard for what you want, you sometimes miss it. Sometimes the things that are REALLY the best for you are right in front of you all along, but you don't pay attention because you're too busy looking for what you THINK is the best thing. (Does that make any sense at all? :o )

Congrats on your 1 year anniversary coming up. :)

Buffymommy 03-12-2007 11:54 AM

A bunch of you out there seem like ones who have been burned. I am not trying to be sappy and boring, but I really like being married. My husband is my best friend as well as my lover. We clicked right off the bat.

I am a firm believer in marriage. Always have been. My husband was married before and divorced within a year. This is my first marriage, but had the bf/gf thing for many years with a man. WAS VERY grateful that I didn't get married. It is why I am a firm believer in living together before marriage. If you can't live together, don't get married. It isn't going to work.

I am proud to say that in September my husband and I will have been together for 10 years and married for seven in October. WOW! It doesn't seem that long.

Honestly, Genuine is right. Lets print this thread out and see where everyone is in say 5 years?

Seattleallstar 03-12-2007 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cajungator26
Thanks for this post. I hope that someday I'll meet my life partner too, but in the meantime, I just have to enjoy life for what it is. I've found that when you look too hard for what you want, you sometimes miss it. Sometimes the things that are REALLY the best for you are right in front of you all along, but you don't pay attention because you're too busy looking for what you THINK is the best thing. (Does that make any sense at all? :o )

Congrats on your 1 year anniversary coming up. :)


I used to always think that saying was BS, but after having a few things happen I very much agree with that statement now.

randallscott35 03-12-2007 12:03 PM

I think the relationships I've had have soured me more on it, but I really feel if you don't want kids, you shouldn't get married...I agree with the person who talked about being committed regardless of whether you are married or not. Dated the same girl for 6 years and never once was unfaithful in any way...SO committment should still be possible.

magic_idol 03-12-2007 01:01 PM

There is Nothing better it's like being on a rollercoaster ride without having to pay;)

GenuineRisk 03-12-2007 04:06 PM

On a related note:

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/11/us...8bd&ei=5087%0A

randallscott35 03-12-2007 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GenuineRisk

Occasionally, the need to separate does have to do with sex. Professor Rosenblatt said one older woman he interviewed said she had her own bedroom because, “I’ve paid my dues. I’m old enough that I don’t want to have sex at 1 a.m.”

OMG--that quote was unnecessary.

ArlJim78 03-12-2007 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by magic_idol
There is Nothing better it's like being on a rollercoaster ride without having to pay;)

Gee, you make such a compelling case.:D

GenuineRisk 03-12-2007 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by randallscott35
Occasionally, the need to separate does have to do with sex. Professor Rosenblatt said one older woman he interviewed said she had her own bedroom because, “I’ve paid my dues. I’m old enough that I don’t want to have sex at 1 a.m.”

OMG--that quote was unnecessary.

If she refers to sex as "dues" her husband must have been really bad in bed... yet another reason why one should test drive the merchandise before purchasing!

Cajungator26 03-12-2007 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GenuineRisk
If she refers to sex as "dues" her husband must have been really bad in bed... yet another reason why one should test drive the merchandise before purchasing!

LOL Nicole!!! :D

GenuineRisk 03-12-2007 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by turdbucket67
the single life is good, you get to go out and bang different females with zero strings attached.. sometimes it takes to much effort to get some.. . the only thing good about marriage would be emotional support and and gettin lucky would happen all day everyday

That's two good things.

GenuineRisk 03-12-2007 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cajungator26
LOL Nicole!!! :D

Seriously, I'm convinced the old Victorian thing about how women were not supposed to enjoy sex was just something Victorian men told their wives so the men wouldn't have to do any foreplay.

Cajungator26 03-12-2007 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GenuineRisk
Seriously, I'm convinced the old Victorian thing about how women were not supposed to enjoy sex was just something Victorian men told their wives so the men wouldn't have to do any foreplay.

I actually like the sex better than anything else.

Damn, here we go again... from marriage to sex. LOL

Cajungator26 03-12-2007 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by turdbucket67
times like this i wish i was married... looks like im hittin up the bars tonight

Most men would tell you that marriage actually ruins your sex life. Have fun at the bars! I'm hitting the hay before 10pm tonight. LOL

Pointg5 03-12-2007 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by turdbucket67
times like this i wish i was married... looks like im hittin up the bars tonight


Bucket

head to the West Side lots of easy skanks...

GPK 03-12-2007 07:50 PM

Married at 27....separated at 30 and divorced at 31. LOVED being a husband and and step-father and loved the idea of being a family.

But since then...I am jaded towards the whole thing. Most likely will never get married again. Don't need the drama.

randallscott35 03-12-2007 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cajungator26
I actually like the sex better than anything else.

Damn, here we go again... from marriage to sex. LOL

Cajun, are you listed in the phone book?


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