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"Deborah,you are so right.Arletta has a birthday on Sunday ,March 1.I did notice the throbbing heart you have on for her.Fine choice, by the way....I just didn't know you two were----SAY! How's goes it with the snow up there!?"
I did not know Arletta was a March birthday too. Happy Early BD! And you sir Mortimer are an ass.:D |
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Tomorrow's race picks:
Swale-Ready For Rye Palm Beach-Night Prowler Happy Birthday Morty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
Happy birthday, Morty!
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A Pastey from ~ Morty
================================================= Hello Dahlings!! MortimerPoo....at your service. Lots of stuff today to cover(sorry,no vacay photos) and I thought it would be pleasant to start off with a lovely tune. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3YUMNDHO_E While you enjoy the music,I would like to thank snot face Deb-O-Deb for wishing me a happy birthday and for calling me an ass.SightyKins;you certainly know a well dressed man when you see one.Thank you for the tip, but I ALWAYS wear a raincoat before chopping off a persons head.But thaaaaaanks! BIG T.Y. out also to Brown Sugah for her birthday wishes to me.....I take it that was for all 3 birthdays I enjoy this month of March? Oh I'm sure you did mean it that way. And I would like to take this opportunity to wish a delightful little curmudgeon,THE Arletta, a very fun filled birthday on Sunday.....March 1.That's the same day Chaucer was released by his captors;forgot all the details, but coincidental.He ,by the way, was the author of Canterbury Tails------a really filthy book.So huge high fives to him as well. Daffy Danny thinks JMess is smart. I am actually beginning to visualize Hilary Clinton when I see Daffy Danny's name. Someone kill me. Dave Schwontz has a new software launch!! It's called NO PACE! You know,the guy whose PR photo looks as if he were saying,"Well don't look at me." I wouldn't buy paper clips from him. Speaking of clips:Here's a clip of me and Hack-A-Thack and Flat Liner ( child actors from NoAdvantge) at the poker club.They're always the suckers at the table, but they don't know it. HA! Anyhoo---- he we are discussing the virtues of women: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lzz4QtbTu6M And here's one from a few years ago;me breaking up with that social bar fly from NA,Tits.Notice at the start I was drawing up different kind of parting,but she made me so sick I had to cut it off right ricky-ticky. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQ440xOiyho Well Stevie, Mr. BlackHeart....I'm not dead yet but well on the way.A murderer on death row gets a last meal request filled, but I can't even get a last membership before I die of radiation poisoning.I know I can be a divisive force at times as well as mildly incendiary, but the greats weren't great because they "gave 'em plastic". I'm really feverish over tomorrows races, primarily over the returns of two huge faves:Went The Day Well and Matterhorn.CLYDEFORM!! gives both out as BEST BETS O' THE DAY. NOT,"maybe" or "most likely" or "super filler" or "fourth most likely,IF"....but the very best bets o' the day. Don't you get shut out,Racing Fans. Oh, here's a nice video of me extolling the musical virtues of Phil Collins while directing AbbeyGail and TaylorMarie in a Grifter love scene.Scam Artists make such awful celluloid targets.Although,TaylorMarie kind of moves nicely....don't ya thank? By the way guys.....they gave head. =;> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbUQ2bV--0A Oh my,look at that time....tsk tsk tsk. I must zoom;the Ravena Head Shop,The Stinkerbox,is having a donation day.I'm trying to become their largest donor....=;> One final clip. Here's me popping a radiation pill before visiting that nauseating Partridge Family. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRBI1VSO7hc kiss-kiss!! |
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Oh mine Got. |
Night Prowler scratched so all I've got is Ready For Rye.:(
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MORTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:{>: |
I liked The Canterbury Tales.
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The Big Beast is back!
No, I don't mean you Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy, but that very fine equine who runs fast. |
To Clyde, I present the cards for the Gotham Stakes and the Santa Anita Handicap.
To Morty, I present the cards for the San Felipe Stakes and the Tampa Bay Dirty. |
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Someone is going to have to dust me off after my picks, it's looking pretty chalky!
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From Morty :{>:
================================================== Sighty.....nice card presentation outfit. Hot. Was that a REAL full length burlap gown you wore? It is time for the fine analysis of the Pothum Thtaketh. Brought to you by CLYDEFORM!! 1....DON'T BET YER LIFE ON THIS ONE Sorry, best I could do. But still better than he's going to do. crinkle.... trash can 1A....UNINFLUENCED He's been arrested 5 times for being under the uninfluence.That was by a dyslexic cop. I think his trainer is ,too. Well ya know....this is really a horrible race.Awful,awful names that I really can't do much with here.FarFromOver was supposed to be in the mess,but he's not.His brilliant thinkers are tossing him into the Woody.And if he runs a phooey------well then what? Talk about phooey....I forgot which horsey I'm on. Oh well;no biggie. crinkle.... trash can 1X....BLAME TODD He doesn't know how to train outside of Gulfstream ....oh,I have to whizz. Done. Power of suggestion, I guess. Really burns.If they're going to install a nuclear reactor in me,they could have added the cooling tower.It's like having a tooth drilled without Novocaine. Aw fer **** sakes-----forgot again.I do recall not being one bit impressed,though. crinkle.... trash can 2....COMBAT DIVER Ever see that movie with DiNero?He's a Navy( or "squid") diver.You know, one of those really,really heavily weighted diving outfits.Terrible movie. So no. crinkle.... trash can 3....SASSY SASS I think I know her. Always with the back sass;you can be her boss or her air conditioning repairman or an irate caller.She will bitch you out but good. I kinda like her. But not as a race horsey. She should have been a free loading doe. Shredder time. whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr !!!! 4....ELK ABEIR Elks? They are that hard up in this years Pothum? NO!! crinkle.... trash can 5....LIEUTENANT COLONEL We would call,in the Marines, these guys "light birds".They really hated it,too.We called them such because they were one rank below Colonel, known as a "full bird".Colonel's logos(=:>) are a big ol' birdie while L.C.'s just get a silver oak leaf.Thus the term,"light bird". They're upset and nasty all the time because they are not yet full birds. This one's for them: NYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!! !! thud 6....TIZ WHIZZ ROR!! snort!....I'm such a ham sandwich. Everyone knows whizz can't win a horsey race. crinkle.... trash can 7....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7KK7bXJV2c !!!!OOOOOOOOOO!!!! I gota million of 'em! crinkle.... trash can 8....TENCENTER Uh oh. A Ten Cents A Ride relative. VERY bad! crink-EL!! trash can 9....HANSEN yah-hoo-hoo!!!! KEEPAH!!!! HANSEN to win the deplorable excuse for a horsey race. |
From ~ Morty :{>:
================================================== = Just became a part owner with my partner for the exclusive distribution of Pez for the state of New Hampshireshore. Really pumped! Cheers, Lease A Mower Otis ------------------------------------- We also just bought part of the ice maker in the Mickey D's out in Billings ,Montana. LAMO -------------------------------------- Just horsing around here,friends. =:> THE fine analysis of THE SANTA ANITA HANDYBOB!! But bob ain't got no horsey's entered! S.B. and Moreno are VERY happy!! (He knows they're on to him.) 1....MOS' HONO'BURR SO'DFISHY Excuse me while I throw out all my Confucius Say books. and now.... mos' hono'burr crinkle.... trash can 2....DIAMOND BACHELOR Never heard of 'im. Crinkle.... trash can 3....SR. QUISQUEYANODOODAH Oh my God. Crinkle.... trash can 4....DYNAMIC SKY A MUST INCLUDE in yer 5 picks. keepah 5....SHARED BELIEF https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBrb0jIR2_8 GIDDYUP WID DAT HAWSEY! KEEAHKEEPAHKEEPAHKEEPAH!!!! 6....LESSRENO More cow bell. A mild keepah. 7....PSYCHOTICANDLOUD nnnnnnnnnnnnnno Crinkle.... trash can 8....YOUKNOWIKNOWANDITWILLCOSTYOU500BIGONESSOKNOWO NEELSEWILLKNOW Boy do I hate this horsey. BLECH! Crinkle.... trash can 9....CRIMSON GIANT Only a dwarf could like this name. Crinkle.... trash can 10....AT YOUR LEISURE What? Lease a Mower doesn't own a piece? Startling. whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!! !! 11....ALUMINUMZO The cheating coward cousin of Califronia Aluminum. =:/ Crinkle.... trash can 12....TAKE A HIKE yay Crinkle.... trash can 13....HARD ACES Should it not be HARD EIGHT? Is someone confusing poker with dice? VICTOR!! That dog don't hunt!! Crinkle.... trash can 1....SHARD BELIEF 2....DYNAMIC SKY 3....MORENO |
A very fine analysis from ~ Morty :{>:
================================================== ========== Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy presents Intriguing Horsey Analysis for the SAN PHILLIPY Horsey Race (brought to you by Clyde's Donuts!!): 1....LORD NELSON Well yew could have called him Half Nelson or yew could have called him Lady Nelson or yew could have called him Ricky Nelson or yew could have called him Full Nelson or yew could have called him Ledges Nelson.....but ya dadn't have ta call him Lord Nelson. Awful. Crinkle.... trash can 2....BLECH BLECH BLECH BLECH!!!! Crinkle.... trash can 3....DUODENUM May baffert go the way of Tuna Helper. Crinkle.... trash can 4....THE Ah fergit. Crinkle.... trash can 5....KEN JIZZSTORM eauxh mine GOT!!!! NO!! Crinkle.... trash can 6....PROSPECT PARK Finally a keepah. 7....POLO VICTOR!!!! They stuck you again!! whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! 8....PULMMARACK Whatthe****isthis!!?? Anyhoo----Dick Van Dyke is unable to ride. He will be replaced by Mr. Arthur Garfunkel crink-EL!!.... trash can 9....PURR SAMPSON Had to get a kitty cat in here. I'm sick of kittty cat avys and horsey references to kitty cats. To like thinkers;this "crinkle....trash can" is for you. crinkle.... trash can. so fun!! 10....THE GOD THREAD AT NA =:> crinkle.... trash can PROSPECT PARK to win and DUODENUM to not. ASIDE:Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy is boycotting anything Tampa Bay.The Facebook take over of the Vegas Vets Room is the spoiler. |
SA Handicap-SHARED BELIEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!
San Phillipee-Ouchie Ouchie Ouchie Batman's Gotham City-Lt. Colonel The Clydevivor Boycotted Tampa Bay Derby-Ocean Knight GP Handicap-Valid |
Santa Anita Handicap ~ #5 Shared Belief
Tampa Bay Derby ~ #2 Ocean Knight Gotham ~ #5 Lt. Colonel San Felipe~ #6 Prospect Park |
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