Certainly isn't yours..Speaking of humor here's an old lawyer joke..:D

The madam opened the brothel door in Bearsden and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.

"May I help you sir?" she asked.

The man replied, "I want to see Suzy."

"Sir, Suzy is one of our most expensive ladies.
Perhaps you would prefer someone else" , said the madam.

He replied, "No, I must see Suzy."

Just then, Suzy appeared and announced to the man she charged £5000 a visit.

Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand pounds and gave it to Suzy, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Suzy.

Suzy explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive.

"There are no discounts. The price is still £5000."

Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Suzy, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again.

Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Suzy and they went upstairs.

After their session, Suzy said to the man,
"No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?"

The man replied, " Edinburgh."

"Really," she said. "I have family in Edinburgh."

"I know." the man said. "Your sister died, and I am her Lawyer
She asked me to give you your £15,000 inheritance."


The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer

Funny but I went a lil over 45 years including a divorce before I felt I was screwed by a lawyer. Then Obama took office.

Let's cut to the chase here as I really don't have much time to waste on an ignoramous like you. You made an ignorant comment taking a swipe at not only me, but an entire profession. Then when I asked you why, you decided to claim that your dig was a joke which only a mental midget like you would think was funny and throw a wiseazz remark back at me.

We know so little about you other then that you are a complete dolt. So, what is your profession? How exactly have you been screwed by lawyers?

I find it very hard to believe that you have ever been screwed by a lawyer. In fact, quite to the contrary, from what little we know about you and how stupid you really are, it seems to me that you most likely have done nothing but benefit by lawyers over your lifetime. So please enlighten us on how lawyers have screwed you.

:rolleyes:

her multiple crimes, rap sheet, etc are why she got the sentence.

what's the point you've been trying to make all along? do you think she got too harsh a sentence?

Best place to hide a gun
 

I think "midget" is out today; they're called "vertically challenged." Jeez, lighten up; the guy posted a lawyer joke. There are thousands of them out there (lawyer jokes and lawyers who are jokes). Not a great profession to enter with a thin skin.

I didn't use the word in the context that you are suggesting. He decided to take a shot at me, not the other way around, so he should be prepared to defend the reason he went after me.

I don't mind lawyer jokes, but he is a crackpot who from prior history has an ignorant attitude towards what I do and I am more then capable and happy to defend it when he attacks it.

No my point is IL and especially Chicago is anti-gun while being lenient with gun crimes.

Sorry for not starting a new thread. But her harsh sentence could serve as a wonderful Mendoza line freeing up IL to find out who stole/misappropriated pension funds for State employees. In other words her uniqueness in using her vagina blinds us from the real crime problems, and help rid the city of the ridiculous 15 year average sentence for murder,

you just proved my point.....is that really the best you could come up with? you are so lame you should take Bute every morning

You really have no idea how big of a tool you really are, do you?

the comebacks get weaker every day.

Reminds me of the Curb Your Enthusiasm episode.

Nothing, not one thing is worse than the 8 years of your idol G Dumya Bush..zip.


Hey numnutz. Wtf, please, by any means at your disposal, show me the attack i made on you.what prior history?:zz:
Was it when i used your name in the post with Bennie Boom Batz?...Please don't let it be that one.
Man get off the soapbox and wake up..try this exercise..
Take you right hand and hold your left ear, then take your left hand and hold your right ear.
Now, pull your head out of your ass!

Btw, i have mentioned a couple times past year my granddaughter is a lawyer,she's an ambulance chaser also..laughs at the jokes...

My fav is the old one..what do you call 100 lawyers holding hands at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start..


You mentioned you know little about me..well, i'm retired but recently found a part time job.


I FOUND A NEW JOB...

I START IN THE MORNING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In these tight economic times, you can't really be too choosy about a job opportunity............

Unemployment problem solved ...

Never saw myself as a sales clerk helping out in a clothing store, but I had to try...




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Best place to hide a gun
 

big, that guy used to work for the Tokyo subway system stuffing passengers into their trains at rush hour.

Here's something I know you'll get a kick out of if you haven't already seen it:

http://www.mediabistro.com/tvspy/epi...i-tu-lo_b97368

:D:D
Matter of fact, got an email from a friend few hours ago with this link. i howled..should have included the ruptured chinaman..Won Hung Lo..
Sounds like something on the Onion..

https://twitter.com/MatthewKeysLive/...102272/photo/1

Best place to hide a gun
 

I almost wet myself watching that chick try to pronounce those names as if they were real!

Watch my picks in the contest tomorrow; going with Michael Maker and the Ramsey's at AP and CNL, and a big bomb at Belmont in the Man O' War.

:D Was she serious or just playing along...hiliarious
and i could use a few bombs tomorrow..:tro:

Best place to hide a gun
 

Man, I think she was serious; the dudes at the station jobbed her into reading those names. I know you're a big movie buff; do you remember in the movie "Ron Burgundy," where he reads anything as long as it's on the teleprompter?

Anyway, I'll have my picks up late tomorrow, after scratches. I need another week like the one where I played the night tracks, as my funds are getting very low, and Saratoga and Del Mar are coming up.

This retirement is ok, but I know what they mean by "fixed income." My income, unfortunately, is still broken.

Ron Burgundy, yes watched it couple times...here's a pic of my grandson with his college buds, he's the one in burgandy..:)

I hear ya, that's why i took that job at the clothing store:D



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I'd like to present you with a special award for your composure. I don't know how you do it.

While I don't have a very bad temper I think, if it were me, I'd have thrown my laptop out the window by now.

Bravo Sir. :D