Quote:
Originally Posted by Cannon Shell
Conservative vs Liberal
If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he feels that no one should have one.
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I don't like guns ... but when you've just smoked some ganja and they're around they're fun to play with. Not that a camera, a fire estinguisher, and a pack of skittles aren't also fun to play with
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cannon Shell
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
If a liberal is, he wants to ban all meat products for everyone.
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I was a vegetarian for 3 months ... and I can't ever remember calling for the banishment of meat.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cannon Shell
If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.
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Sees a foreign threat? Conservatives must make creepy boyfriends and girlfriends.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cannon Shell
If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he loudly demands legislated respect .
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Yeah! Stay in the closet you queers! Frickin Flamers always want to make a fuss about something.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cannon Shell
If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.
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Ever met a black man before? They're all conservative. A bunch of church going, queer hating, red blooded americans whos folks happened to chill in the sun for too long. Almost all of them are chalk players too. They just don't vote with the conservatives because the conservatives don't like them
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cannon Shell
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.
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Not who - but what - Booze and pot are often the favored entry.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cannon Shell
If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.
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True. I would love to see Dr. Phil fed to a live crocadile.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cannon Shell
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God or religion silenced.
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Ever read the Bible?
They were definitely trippin balls.
Like God doesn't have better things to do than set shrubbery on fire and teach snakes how to talk.
When I really went yard on the LCD in 10th grade, I've seen all kinds of mysterious burning sh!t, I've had some pretty in-depth conversations with both plant and wildlife, and in fact have led a group of followers through the desert, and more than once I've come up with a really swell set of rules we should all live by.
Moses and his boys do it, they're immortalized and shrines are built in their honor, and they still talk about it 2000 years later. When I equaled their feats, I got grouned and kicked out of the house. I should have been born 2000 years earlier
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cannon Shell
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.
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If a tard doesn't have health care ... he doesn't want the govt to provide it because that's all acting like a socialist and stuff.
If a competent person doesn't have health care ... he wants the govt to do something for his own benefit for a change ... beats spending money on idiotic wars.