Live blogging the Cup, Day One

[ateamstupid]

In what's perhaps my most ridiculous blog idea yet, I've decided to do running commentary on an event whose real action lasts about a minute-and-a-half, maximum. Absurd? Yes. Pointless? No. In that I missed my chance to head out there today and I'm sure I'm not the only one bored off my ass on this miserable Friday afternoon, this will at least entertain me. Then maybe I can do one tomorrow, complete with my best impression of a member of the media.

4:22 - Not sure why the hell my windows are open or why it takes the jaws of life to close them, but anyway, I'm finally out of the can and ready to go. Looks nasty as hell at Monmouth. 21% of ESPN SportsNation, the bastion of reliable horse racing foresight, says Miss Macy Sue takes it. Jerry Bailey is asking Eibar Coa how he's going to handle the slop with Dream Rush. It's like Napoleon interviewing Stalin about an upcoming offensive. La Traviata is the chalk, which is no surprise. Her 5-2 morning line was ludicrous. Jeanine Edwards isn't home when she's called on for a report on Maryfield. That's it. I'm soured on ESPN's coverage. Oh, there she is. Whew. I'm slowly getting down from the ledge. We're supposed to be able to see a standing pool of water in front of the gate. I can't even see the gate. Loading. Trevor Denman, butcher it. I mean take it away.

Odds update with a minute to post:
Miss Macy Sue - 5/1
Miraculous Miss - 40/1
Dream Rush - 3/1
Maryfield - 9/1
Jazzy - 15/1
Oprah Winney - 6/1
La Traviata - 2/1
Wild Gams - 11/1
Shaggy Mane - 22/1
Baroness Thatcher - 21/1

[ALostTexan]

I need the updates. I am at work, meaning no "gambling" sites get through the firewall, and no TV for the ESPN coverage. I appreciate any updates...

[ateamstupid]

4:28 - Dream Rush goes :21 and :44 up front, leaving La Traviata in the dust, but buckles in the last 1/16, as Maryfield and Miraculous Miss both inhale her late. Maryfield, in the center of the track, bests Miraculous Miss by a head for the score. Miss Macy Sue third and Baroness Thatcher fourth. Denman screws up the call, but I'll cut him some slack, as I had no idea what the hell was going on either. Guess you can close on this track? Maybe?

[ateamstupid]

4:33 - Can't get that catchy Bessemer Trust instrumental out of my head, but Maryfield ($18) and the Rams silks are in the winner's circle with Doug O'Neill and Elvis Trujillo. Just about the only time this year you'll see "winner" and "Rams" in the same sentence, but hey, at least they got one. Let's hope Maryfield wasn't running with broken ribs. I love the arrow on Maryfield in the replay, as if that helps any. That arrow should be hired as a U.N. weapons inspector, because I couldn't tell Maryfield from a tire track until the last 100 yards.

[ateamstupid]

4:39 - Exacta was $374 and Trifecta paid $878. Full order of finish: Maryfield, Miraculous Miss, Miss Macy Sue, Baroness Thatcher, Dream Rush, La Traviata, Shaggy Mane, Oprah Winney, Jazzy, Wild Gams. Warning: That order of finish could be entirely wrong.

[brianwspencer]

Denman screws up the call, but I'll cut him some slack, as I had no idea what the hell was going on either.

I hope it's not this bad tomorrow -- I can't even tell who's who. It seems the only way to really know who anyone is, is if you're only following one horse the whole way around.

[ateamstupid]

4:43 - It's officially pouring, which means it's the perfect time to highlight the best of New Jersey! The mosquito is the state bird, it's got 108 toxic waste dumps according to native Tom Renaldi. The state motto: Liberty and Prosper. The best connections Renaldi could come up with were the Statue of Liberty for Liberty (in New York) and Atlantic City for Prosper (because that's the word that comes to mind when we think AC). Renaldi wraps up a sad puff piece by saying that tourism is second highest of any state in NJ. But not counting kidnappings, where are you ranked?

[ateamstupid]

4:50 - Achill Island taking a lot of money at 3/1, while Prussian, the best U.S. hope in addition to Cherokee Triangle, is a lukewarm 9/2. Perhaps word got out that Europeans are generally more used to soft turf than our boys. Oh no.. The blob has invaded the ESPN set! Let's see who The Hammer likes: Achill Island. What a surprise. Filling out the totally chalky exotic prediction quota, Hank goes 8-9 for the exactor and 8-9-4 in the triactor. Randy Moss agrees. Nick Luck (his stage name) is apparently the only guy European enough to interview Dermot Weld. Wait, what did he say? Luck, translate!

[ateamstupid]

4:57 - One minute 'til the least climactic $1,000,000 race in the history of horse racing. Edwards interviews Texans' and Texas Fever's owner Bob McNair, a.k.a. That Idiot who let Charlie Casserly draft Mario Williams over Reggie Bush and Vince Young.

Odds as they load:
Your Round - 43/1
Cannonball - 14/1
The Leopard - 11/1
Cherokee Triangle - 7/1
Strike the Deal - 6/1
Gio Ponti - 8/1
Nownownow - 12/1
Achill Island - 3/1
Prussian - 3/1
Preachin Man - 35/1
Texas Fever - 44/1
Domestic Fund - 9/1

[ateamstupid]

5:05 - Nownownow closed strongly to head Achill Island for the win, looked like Strike the Deal nosed out Cannonball (or Cannonade, as Denman called him) for third. Bailey, even more flustered than Denman, attempts to give some analysis, but ends up stumbling on "Achilles Island" about four times, then just gives up as we head to break.

[ateamstupid]

5:10 - Payouts:

7/8 Exacta - $180
7/8/5 Trifecta - $1,813
7/8/5/2 Super - $8,330

[ALostTexan]

Everyone must of had Maryfield in the exotics seeing how the Tri paid crappy in the F/M Sprint and huge in the Juvi Turf. Amazing...

[ateamstupid]

5:12 - Here's Edwards with Francois Parisel. Further proof that Parisel doesn't exist and is just an alter ego of Pat Biancone, no Edwards. Let's check in with Jeanine again. Nope. Still not there! This is a hell of a telecast for ESPN!

[Payson Dave]

Doing a Good Job Joe

[ateamstupid]

5:16 - Looks like my future as photo caller is questionable at best. Turns out Cannonade not only came back from the dead, but also came back to get third from Strike the Deal, explaining the bigger trifecta and super. 7/8/2 and 7/8/2/5.

Meanwhile, we get Corso and Herbstreit's picks for the Breeders' Cup Classic. The sad thing is that I actually much prefer their insight to Goldberg's. I'd just about prefer the insight of any animate organism to Hank's. It's too easy to crack on The Hammer, so I'll move on. Oh, how convenient.. Now Edwards' mike works, as soon as "Parisel" is out of sight. Conspiracy!

[golfer]

5:12 - Here's Edwards with Francois Parisel. Further proof that Parisel doesn't exist and is just an alter ego of Pat Biancone, no Edwards. Let's check in with Jeanine again. Nope. Still not there! This is a hell of a telecast for ESPN!
I'm no french expert, but doesn't Francois Parisel translate to "Frankie the Umbrella"?

[ateamstupid]

5:25 - golfer: "I'm no french expert, but doesn't Francois Parisel translate to 'Frankie the Umbrella'?"

I knew it. Biancone is just using his mafia name to run his BC horses under. Interesting story concerning Discreet Cat and Garret Gomez isn't that interesting. Here it is: Godolphin chose Gomez over Dettori. Enthralling.. DC, off a two-race losing streak, still stands a big shot considering slop breeding and -2 TG in Vosburgh, but odds are pretty underlaid. Wondering if there's enough speed in this race (sarcasm). Gottcha Gold, Wanderin Boy, High Finance all figure to go balls to the wall. Pretty much eliminates those three, although WB is dangerous on the wet. Park Avenue Ball certainly has a shot given those circumstances. Stop everything. Jeanine has a follow-up on that Garret-over-Frankie bombshell!

[ALostTexan]

Please keep these coming. Great job on a sheety day...

[ateamstupid]

5:33 - Hank wonders about Discreet Cat and his ability to bounce back from the Vosburgh, adding that he "doesn't trust" Discreet Cat. So who's on top for you, Hank? Ah, Discreet Cat. Shrewd. Influence your ubiquitous legions of hardcore followers to machete down his price, then you can bet your REAL pick! Poor Kenny Mayne is stuck in the middle of the rain in Times Square, holding his own bumberchute, while Hank is covered up, going both ways on an underlaid favorite. It just doesn't seem fair. Minutes until they swim through the inaugural BC Dirt Mile (and 70).

[ateamstupid]

5:39 - Bailey tries to jinx his third straight short-priced horse via interviewing its jockey, bullshitting with Garret Gomez for a few. Prices as they approach the gate:

Discreet Cat - 7/5
Lewis Michael - 9/1
Wanderin Boy - 6/1
High Finance - 16/1
Gottcha Gold - 6/1
Park Avenue Ball - 13/1
Corinthian - 7/2
Xchanger - 8/1

[2 Dollar Bill]

Gee I hope this keeps up..... So far... Cashed the exacta in the eighth race, and a win ticket on the ninth. [ I did play the 7 & 8 to win ] but didnt put both in a exacta..
race 10 exacta box 2 , 6, 7, 8.. good luck all

[ateamstupid]

5:44 - Major respect to Denman for pretty much calling Corinthian a winner nearly every step of the way. Blew by Gottcha Gold on the turn and romped in 1:39 flat, with GG well-clear of Discreet Cat, who headed out Wanderin Boy for third.

[King Glorious]

Good stuff. Looking forward to reading tomorrow. I think Jeanine made a mistake when she said that Corinthian's biggest win was today and not the Met Mile. I think nine of 10 would still pick the Met Mile.

[ateamstupid]

5:49 - Exacta: $60.20, Trifecta: $215.40, Superfecta: $496.40, Pick Three: $1,591.40. Edwards is interviewing Desormeaux. I must really love this sport to watch these two clods yammering back and forth. Thankfully, Jimmy the Jerk steps in to say a few words.

An enjoyable first day of the BC, but certainly not something I'm kicking myself for missing. Tomorrow promises to be even messier, but there'll be plenty of wet, wild racing. Hopefully there will be no champions crowned or dethroned on those surfaces, but it should be entertaining nonetheless. Trying to avoid the rain and dodge tramplings from Asmussen's security will suck, but I'll be with the Bykster, whose smile could ignite a fire in the ocean. Um, yeah. Thanks for reading and we'll do this again real soon.. Tomorrow!

[SuffolkGirl]

loved all of the posts - I could have used "live" them as I was standing in the pouring rain at Monmouth today, I hear laughing will make you forget that you are drenched to the bone and being dried out by a nice cold breeze from the Jersey shore....

[Bigsmc]

5:44 - Major respect to Denman for pretty much calling Corinthian a winner nearly every step of the way. Blew by Gottcha Gold on the turn and romped in 1:39 flat, with GG well-clear of Discreet Cat, who headed out Wanderin Boy for third.


Still trying to thaw out. Had flashbacks to my childhood in Michigan, nearly forgot there were horses running.

Corinthian saved my azz. I'll live to fight another day...if I can ever feel my toes again.

Great job OEY

[timmgirvan]

great job,Ateam.....love your humor and blogging for the "deprived"!

[Danzig]

great job,Ateam.....love your humor and blogging for the "deprived"!

yeah, shame i had to work today (the NERVE) and had to miss out on the writing.